The Observer

I'm moving...

2009-09-09T13:11:00.000+02:00

Or have already moved, rather... to here http://essenceofcapetown.co.za/blog.

I've managed to put together a few braincells and migrated my blog to Wordpress. Any new posts will be done there from now on.

Now since all my brain power is depleted, things look a pretty bare at my new babbling spot and eventually I'll redirect this subdomain to point there.

Here's to change!

On the nineteenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-08T21:45:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the nineteenth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants them the highest level of Paradise, Jannatul Firdaus, insha'Allah.

On the eighteenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-07T22:06:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the eighteenth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala is highly satisfied with you and your two parents, insha'Allah.

On the seventeenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-06T21:32:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the seventeenth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants them the reward of all the aanbiyaah (prophets) (AS), insha'Allah

On the sixteenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-05T21:30:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the sixteenth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants that they will not enter Jahannam (Hell) and are free to enter Jannah (Heaven), insha'Allah.

On the fifteenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-04T21:46:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the fifteenth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala instructs all the malaaikah, including the eight who hold up Allah ta'aala's arsh to recite salawaat (salutations) on them, insha'Allah.

On the fourteenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-03T21:15:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the fourteenth night of Ramadaan, on the day of Qiyaamah the malaaikah (angels) that carries Allah ta'aala's arsh (throne) will bear witness that they have performed taraweeh and there will be no questioning for them on the day of reckoning, insha'Allah.

On the thirteenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-02T21:27:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the thirteenth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala will grant that on the day of Qiyaamah (judgment), they will be protected from all worries and evil, insha'Allah.

On the twelfth night of Ramadaan...

2009-09-01T21:33:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the twelfth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala will grant that on the day of Qiyaamah, their faces will shine like the full moon. A face that shines like the full moon, is a face of jannah, insha'Allah.

On the eleventh night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-31T21:31:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the eleventh night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants that their sins are once more forgiven anew, insha'Allah.

On the tenth night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-30T21:46:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the tenth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala will grant them choicest blessings dunyaa and aakhira, insha'Allah.

On the ninth night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-29T21:57:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the ninth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants them the reward of worshipping Him as Rasulullah SAW worshipped Allah ta'aala, insha'Allah.

On the eighth night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-28T22:01:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the eighth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants them the reward of Nabi Ebrahim AS who had the title of Khalilullah, the bosom friend of Allah, insha'Allah.

Nabi Ebrahim AS received this title for his love of giving sadakaat. When he ate, he would never eat alone.

On the seventh night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-27T21:35:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the seventh night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants them the reward of assisting Nabi Moosa AS against Fir'aun and the enemies of Islam, insha'Allah.

On the sixth night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-26T21:40:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the sixth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala grants them the reward of the tawaaf around al-bayt ul-ma'moor, the spiritual Ka'ba that's directly above the Ka'ba in Makkah where the malaaikah tawaaf and every piece of creation makes dua for them until Fajr, insha'Allah.

On the fifth night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-25T21:26:00.000+02:00

For those who perform taraweeh on the fifth night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala rewards them as if they have performed Salaah in Makkah, Madina and al-Aqsa, insha'Allah.

The reward for performing Salaah in Makkah, Madina and al-Aqsa is mulitplied by 100 000, 50 000 and 50 000, respectively.

On the fourth night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-24T21:19:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the fourth night of Ramadaan is rewarded the khaatam of the Torah, Zaboor, Injeel and the Qur'an, insha'Allah.

On the third night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-23T21:25:00.000+02:00

For those who perform taraweeh on the third night of Ramadaan, there is a malak that stands underneath the 'arsh of Allah ta'aala that cries out, "Start over again!" as their sins have been forgiven anew, insha'Allah.

On the second night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-22T21:36:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the second night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala forgives their parents, as long as they are mu'mineen, insha'Allah.

On the first night of Ramadaan...

2009-08-21T22:38:00.000+02:00

Those who perform taraweeh on the first night of Ramadaan, Allah ta'aala clears their sins and they become as pure as a new born baby.

May we all reep the rewards of this blessed month, insha'Allah.

Ramadaan Kareem.

My life according to Live...

2009-08-03T09:05:00.000+02:00

I'm sick. Found this while Google reading on Nafisa's blog and decided to do it also.

Using only songs from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.
Pass it on to whoever you like. You can't use the artist I used. Try
not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think!

Repost as "My Life According to (ARTIST NAME)".

Pick Your Artist: Live

Are you male or female? She

Describe yourself: Nobody Knows

How do you feel? The Dolphin's Cry

Describe where you currently live: Gas Hed Goes West

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Heaven

Your favourite form of transportation: Life Marches On

Your favourite colour is: The Beauty of Gray

What is the weather like? Sun

Favourite time of day: Night of Nights

If your life was a T.V. show, what would it be called? Heropsychodreamer

What is life to you? Simple Creed

Your relationships: They Stood Up For Love

Your fear: Lightning Crashes

What is the best advice you have to give? Forever May Not Be Long Enough

If you could change your name, you would change it to: Voodoo Lady

Thought for the day: We Walk In The Dream

How I would like to die: Get Ready

My soul's present condition: Operation Spirit

Motto: Bring The People Together

The child in me...

2009-07-21T10:53:00.000+02:00

Even though I grow older in years, that doesn't mean I'll be wiser, more mature or any less insane.
All I've unknowingly been longing for, is to be that untainted little girl again.

Aloha to whoever reads this...

2009-07-20T10:09:00.000+02:00

Time flies, seriously! Because last I checked, I was under pressure at work and still stressing about my sister's wedding. Now, most of work has gone off to print already and I'm nearing the time of year where things starts slowing down.

Anyway, I've never publicised that I have a blog. Of late though, many friends and acquaintances that I interact with often, have come across it and have actually shown an interest in what nonsense I have to spew here... and I think I have stage fright.

What to say? What NOT to say? Maybe not say anything at all?

OK, I've never been the bare-it-all or controversial type to begin with, but there is a feeling of nervousness now that I actually know people are reading what I have to say. I'm wondering if that's odd?

I reckon I'm over-thinking, but to all the folks who read me, I want to say, thank you for taking the time to :)

The mental chill pill...

2009-06-19T13:53:00.000+02:00

While being stuck with time constraints and under quite a bit of pressure with work and life in general, I'm trying to keep myself calm and making an effort not to stress myself out. I'm taking a mental chill pill by opting to:

- take a moment to actually smell the coffee.
- allow the smallest and most random acts of kindness to make me smile.
- write down and list all the chaos happening in my mind.
- go for a walk.
- give someone a hug.
- always remember that the Almighty never gives you more than you can handle.
- breathe,
- cry,
- laugh,
- if need be, to do the above three all at the same time.

Celebrations, headaches and lots of work...

2009-06-17T17:48:00.000+02:00

My sister's wedding was meant to be postponed to December, somehow the decision making committee took a u-turn and decided for it to be brought forward... to the 27th of this month.

That meant mere weeks for celebration to be planned and pulled off and I had to kickstart my family into getting arrangements under way, leaving me with organising, coordinating and delegating. Things are falling into place, Alhamdulillah but not without some heavy heaving and quick thinking.

It's our busiest time of the year at the office too. So I'm quite stressed out.

I want to go on a honeymoon 11 days from now!

Chopping and changing...

2009-05-26T13:58:00.000+02:00

There's this saying that's been floating around for as long as I can remember and been on my mind of late, "you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends". I have no intention of choosing my family, no matter how crazy a bunch they are. Though, after a series of ~~unfortunate~~ events, I'm left facing the topic of "choosing" friends.

I understand that everyone has his or her own way of doing things, of dealing, of getting through life. I say potatoe, you say potaato, each to his own. But there is a certain etiquette, a moral line bordering that which is right and wrong. If I were to step over that line, I'd totally understand and even expect my family and friends to tell me that I'm treading the wrong water and to get back on the right side of the line. I think I'd do the same.

That said and done, after such an exchange takes place, relationships and friendships are often not the same anymore. After the series of events I mentioned earlier, I'm left with a dilemma of actually not wanting to be friends with someone anymore. I said what I needed to say, more than once at that, and said friend's actions went from bad to worse. I'm not the only person who feels that this friend was out of line and a few people have started keeping their distance.

On the other hand, I've been craving to meet new people. To have new conversations, hear different ideas and just making friends with someone that once was a stranger. But this leaves me feeling like I'm chopping and changing friends, like it's getting a haircut.

It's definitely not my intention to change friends to my whim and fancy. Though, when friendships have grown distant, it did gradually and it never felt this awkward. This whole matter has left me wondering if that phrase of choosing friends is such a simple thing after all.

Listen to me and listen well...

2009-05-13T10:45:00.000+02:00

All the bloggers I follow are sharing 10 things that they'd want their children (or offspring to be) to know. These are the partial wisdoms I'd like to share with the many children I'd love to have.

Be grateful, for the simple abundances to the grand lavishness that will be bestowed upon you. The fact that you are breathing is a gift.
Eat your spinach and Brussels sprouts, they're way yummier than made out to be.
Don't watch too much TV. If you can help it, don't watch any at all. Time flies as it is in a single day.
I will teach you of what is halaal and haraam but in the end you're the one who will have to bear the consequences of your actions and weight of your conscience.
I'll try not to get into your business, but I can't promise that I wont. It's part of the job and I'm nosy like that.
It's OK to feel angry, sad or even depressed, but just for a short while. You need to make the space inside yourself to feel better.
I will most likely be to you as my mother was to me. When you think I'm too harsh or strict, just remember how much you love and adore your grandmother.
The world is your classroom and life is the lesson. Be a good and humble pupil.
I won't always have an answer for everything because I too, am still a student of life.
Remember to say the Kalimah every night before you go to sleep and never stop doing that.

Then just so you know and never forget... I love you!

Yes, I know...

2009-05-11T13:16:00.000+02:00

I've been a bad blogger! I have so much to blog about but do I do the right thing and write about it? No and I don't know why, but I'll try to make amends now.

But just to round up I will tell you, though not in detail, about the ten wonderful days I spent on the Garden Route smelling green air while driving through towns that overlook the Indian ocean. We woke up early to see the local farmers' market, had rustic bread, cinnamon pancakes and bought wooden toys. Zeen and I drove to Outdshoorn to stroke cheetahs and play with white tiger cubs. Drove past Plettenberg Bay to face our own fear factors by touching snakes and bungee jumping, where the latter left me with a burst capillary in my eye. Needless to say, I wish I was still on holiday!

I'll tell you about two of my friends that got married in the weeks past and how one of these weddings made big news. The fairytale wedding was estimated at costing R1.2 million to host and entertain everyone at the lavish affair. Though it was beautiful, I prefered NK's reception, intimate, comfortable and I'm sure she and M will have a good laugh at the video message Zeen and I left them. NK, I loved the Lebanese bread and now we can go on holiday together :P

I must tell you about our neighbours' kids and how naughty and adorable they are, I'll focus on the adorable part for now. Zeen's grandfather is very ill, he's writing exams and amongst other things, he's obviously rather stressed. I've also felt a bit of this stress but last Friday we arrived home to see that our assumed children left us this etch-a-stetch-ed message. I'm not a mother yet, but I'm sure something like this would make any parent feel all fluffy inside.

I'd like to end off on a broody note. The long awaited introduction of the new addition next door and my future son-in-law. All together now... AWWWW!

It's an oversized cup...

2009-04-14T19:30:00.002+02:00

On Sunday past I braved the blistering cold for over 90 minutes to see my husband, in his Liverpool shirt, finally hold the UEFA Champions League cup.

OK, so maybe it was just a mild breeze and even though he wore a Liverpool shirt, doesn't mean he was playing football for over 90 minutes, as I'd like to dramaticise it. It WAS the UEFA Champions League trophy though, that he eventually touched with glee. After waiting in a (very long) queue, he had his moment with this prized pot captured and the photos are on our fridge to prove it.

So, do I really get all the fuss surrounding this oversized cup and all the fanatical rivalry around the Champions League? No, I don't... But Zeen is an avid footballing fan (with some fancy footworking moves, if I must say) and because he is so chuffed and giddy about his triumph filled moment next to a trophy (that he didn't actually win), I can't not smile at seeing him so happy.

To suffer for beauty...

2009-03-30T09:15:00.007+02:00

I went to a bridal shower/ladies evening on Friday past. We had belly dancing for entertainment and an indoor pool to our disposal. The highlight of the evening though, was when the ladies were supposed to undergo an Arab custom, the name evades me but it involves "smoking" a sandalwood fragrance into your skin that leaves you with a bit of a tan and apparently irresistible to your husband.

Obviously, the bride to be had to do this first. The process went something like this, before everyone arrived a fire was made beside the pool, by the time the belly dancer packed herself up and left, the flames were slowly dying. Some of us took a dip in the pool and when the flames were out and the embers started glowing, they were thrown into a clay pot. Bride to be was rubbed with a fragrant oil, made to sit over the clay pot and pieces of sandalwood was thrown into it. She was completely wrapped up with blankets with her head sticking out on top and the process of "smoking" continued for about 15 to 20 minutes. She came out positively glowing... so totally Ms. Eager me, decided to go next.

By that time, the embers had heated the pot up quite a bit so I couldn't bear sitting there, wrapped in blankets, for more than 5 minutes. Let alone my fear of passing out of smoke inhalation. When I seriously couldn't take the heat anymore, I jumped out of a massive cloud (not puff,) of smoke and I wasn't only glowing, but glowing ORANGE!!!

I smelt like smoke, looked like I over did a self-tan and felt like a complete idiot for trying something I had no clue about. To add to my embarrassment, later that night Zeen was making fun of me saying that Arab men must like their women to smell like chips because I smell like Fritos BBQ. Gosh!!! TMI now, I know, but in the end, I did prove irresistible to my husband, smelling like Fritos or not.

Then this morning I woke up with a fine rash all over my skin where the oil was applied. Now finally when the orange in me is fading out, I'm having an allergic reaction, three days later.

As far as being irresistible to my Zeen, I'm sure I don't need to this again, I mean he wouldn't be my husband if I wasn't irresistible to him. So, to hell with suffering for beauty, I'd rather be ugly!

Totally arb...

2009-03-17T18:40:00.002+02:00

I'm home alone making myself supper. Green beans stew that I'm going to have with fried potatoes instead of it being in the stew.

Zeen's accompanying his mom to her ceremony where she graduates with honours in Child Psychology. Just days ago I was urging him to spend more time with her (without me). Congratulations mom!

I don't like pre-(post and during) menstrual syndrome! It makes me feel like a loser and lonely.

The mug that I'm drinking tea out of right now, was made in Indonesia. The book that I'm currently reading, was published in Indonesia. Both are a source of enlightenment to me.

25 random things about me...

2009-02-25T10:01:00.007+02:00

1. I'm a recovering introvert. Growing up, I was the quiet kid occupying herself in the corner, generally avoiding people. These days, I'm way more comfortable in social gatherings sometimes seeking out a good "party", but I still like quiet time with me, myself and I.

2. Totally love cooking and baking but I hate having to clean up. In fact, I don't like any kind of housework. It's just bleh!

3. Not many people know that I was kind of home schooled. Long story...

4. Working in the book design and typesetting industry thus far, has been so much fun. I believe I've landed my dream job.

5. One day when Zeen and I have our own home, I'd like to set up my very own home office. Hopefully and ideally, I'd like to work from home and be stay-at-home mummy, God-willing.

6. I sometimes misspell words when I write, exactly the same way I make typos when I type.

7. My tolerance levels are way higher than a lot of people I know. I tolerate a lot of people I know too.

8. I read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy by the time I was 12 years old.

9. While we're on books... for a few years as a child and teenager, I used to spend a few hours at the library every single day, except Sundays. I can't remember all the books I've read.

10. I like Star Wars!

11. I've gone on way more holidays after I got married than in my whole life before then.

12. I have my Pro Nutro with boiling water and a spot of milk. My dad is... I mean was, a bit miserly and always scolded my siblings and I not to use up all the milk. I've become so accustomed to the taste that I can't have it any other way.

13. My most embarrassing moment happened after my first day (during my only year) of high school. I fell out of the school bus. It was just before I had to get off. My hand slipped on the door handle and the door swung open with me still holding on. I was dragged for a few metres before the bus stopped. I came out bearing minimal scars but had a searing red face the next day on the bus.

14. I always wished I had bigger boobs.

15. I introduced my sister to her fiancé, knowing that they'd hit it off. I didn't tell either of them about each other until the day they met. I'm so chuffed!

16. I'm eating cinnamon donuts right now.

17. Of all the people close to me, I'm most terrified of losing my mother and Zeen.

18. I haven't seen the inside of a cinema in a while.

19. Two of my biggest fears are: finding out that the mole in my face is malignant and; dying in a car accident.

20. Zeen's driving scares me, sometimes.

21. I used to be very skinny, so all my new "love handles" feels a little strange to me.

22. It seems that I have expensive tastes, not purposefully though. The few things that I like, just turn out to be more expensive than the things I don't like.

23. As a kid, my grandmother who's my only surviving grandparent now, used to scare me. We get along a lot better these days, she's even felt comfortable enough to talk to me about how good her sex life with my grandfather was. Awkward!

24. I used to play netball competitively and was really good at it!

25. I never dated anyone or had a steady boyfriend before marrying Zeen.

Now... I tag whoever reads this!

No rest for the wicked? But I'm so sweet...

2009-02-24T14:29:00.003+02:00

Work has been hectic... six books had to go to the printers within one week. There's a new editor at one of the publishers and she's been so frazzled that one of her books ended up being completely chaotic to deal with on D-day. I had to run up and down between our offices and the publishing house and yesterday, I sat there for a few hours trying to finalise things which were checked and OK'd. Then this morning, errors were found at the printers and my boss and I were still bugged this morning. I swear, I found a (new) grey hair on my head this morning! The rush is somewhat over and we have some room to breathe, for now.

Speaking of hair, my new haircut (that's almost a month old) is totally cool. I've never before, enjoyed the maintenance that comes along with keeping one's hair coiffed. But with this cut, I have so much fun styling it and brush my hair in every direction all night.

In other news... remember my friend who was pregnant but needed bed rest and was in hospital for a long time? Well, I don't know if I mentioned that her son was born on 6 January. He was premature though, so he had to stay in hospital for a while. He came home, exactly one month later and Zeen and I can't get enough of him. We're totally mesmerised by this tiny human being and have been spending a lot of time feeding, burping and just holding him. Talk about being broody. I'm definitely going to be blogging about him soon, photos and all.

For now, I have to go back to the world of kerning...

I love Etsy!

2009-02-11T13:07:00.003+02:00

I totally do, it's official!

I got my rose bud earrings in the mail yesterday and my sterling silver stacking rings today. I just love how I forget I ordered something then I suddenly get a package with foreign stamps on it and I think: "I know what this is!"

Inside the bubble-wrap envelope there's another beautifully packaged box. Unwrapping it is synonymous to opening a birthday present, filled with delight and glee. Even though I know exactly what I'm going to get, actually seeing and holding it is something else.

Retail therapy is a cure for many a sad or dull day, but shopping on Etsy is a totally different therapy altogether. Giving yourself a gift has never been this much fun. I'll never grow bored of it!

What's-his-face...

2009-02-04T15:14:00.000+02:00

Or her-face, to be politically correct... you see, I'm really bad with names, especially those belonging to people that I don't see often.

Once, I was in the supermarket with a friend (that I see often and won't ever forget her name, because she's so cool,) let's call her friend-A and we bumped into someone else that I knew, let's call her friend-B (and know that this friend and I aren't close nor do we see each other often). So after exchanging pleasantries, friend-B looks over at friend-A, then back at me with that look in her face saying, "aren't you going to introduce us to one another?" Now, here's the thing... under any other circumstances, I'd have done the introductions way before starting to chat, but in this case, I totally forgot friend-B's name.

I didn't chicken out and pretend that I knew her name by ignoring her obvious body language to want to meet someone new, instead I asked her to forgive me because her name just slipped my mind. She didn't seem offended and told me her name, I introduced friend-B to friend-A and that's the end of that story. Don't judge me.

But... now even though, I'm terrible at remembering names, I have a knack for remembering faces. So even if I don't remember your name, if I see you some place I wouldn't walk past you without greeting or a smile. Unless you clearly ignore me, then I'll definitely pretend that I don't know you either. Snob!

Anyway, my knack for remembering faces is so good (or bad), you could be a cashier, someone I saw in an elevator or a random person whose face I just happen to look at only once, your face gets stored in some memory bank in my brain. On many occasions, I see someone that I know I've seen before and I simply can't place who it is or why he or she looks familiar to me. Sometimes I even torture myself by thinking that maybe I actually know this person and I forgot their name. Then it dawns on me and I remember exactly where and when I saw this person.

So the long and short of it is, I'm bad with names but good with faces... I'm that person who'd be able to pick out the criminal in a police lineup, like in the movies. I think I'll call it what's-his-face (or what's-her-face,) syndrome.

Random rambling...

2009-01-27T16:24:00.004+02:00

I went to my yoga class yesterday after quite a break and when the one and a half hour session was over, I realised how much my body missed the breathing exercises (pranayama), positions (asanas) and inward calm. I'll always leave my yoga classes feeling more confident, relaxed and content with life and the world.

Apparently when making an inward change, it sometimes manifests as an outward change as well. I've been going through a bit of an (hormonally imbalanced) emotional patch and to try and get out of it, I've been making some changes to my life. Changing my diet slightly and eating less, hopefully I'll try to do yoga more often as a means of exercise, reading more, writing more and spending more time with people that exude positivity; and less time with those who tend to be negative... But the biggest change (to me) that I'm opting to make, is to cut my hair. Watch this space for my dramatic new look, coming soon.

I've been eating a lot more fruit, am munching on cherries right now. They make for a healthier and tasty alternative to the usual chips that I tend to snack on. I'm generally not a sweets and chocolate person and would much rather have peaches and nectarines everyday. I'm going to miss all the summer fruits once the season has gone. Oh and I love oranges.

Zeen's cousin is getting married next Sunday and I'm deciding on what to wear. I'm torn between indulging myself by buying a new outfit or to abstain that urge and wear something I already have. Choices, choices!

Etsy is my new addiction... I've held back long enough from shopping there and now I'm patiently waiting for my items to be shipped and arrive in my mailbox.

Two things I have a strong desire to do is, to ride a quad bike again but more than that, to read a good fantasy and/or sci fi novel. I'm currently reading Binu and the Great Wall of China, a mythological tale of a woman who goes on a long journey to Great Swallow Mountain where her husband was taken to work on one of the vast building projects of our time, the Great Wall of China. The story has an almost dreamlike narration and since I work in typesetting and book design, I have to include that this book is beautifully made.

After posting this, I have to spend a good measure of my afternoon waiting for Zeen to finish work, until I can go home. Also, our toilet broke last night, so I'm hoping by the time I get home, I'll have a place to pee. So... let the waiting begin.

Etsy earrings...

2009-01-26T12:30:00.006+02:00

I've been swamped with work, holidays are over and it's back to reality. That doesn't mean I can't spend some time indulging my eyes on beautiful handmade jewellery.

So, to make my working days less tedious, I spend some time browsing through Etsy and recently went on a jewellery craze (and even bought one or two pieces). I've decided to share some of my favourites, that I'd love to add to my (slowly growing) collection.

1. These simple Earrings with Glass Pearls by SusanKJewelry will be a pretty addition to any earring stand. (I may just buy these soon.)

2. Also by SusanKJewelry are these versatile Mixed Metals Orbit Earrings. Great as an accessory to both dressing up or down.

3. For something out of the ordinary: Love Knots by harborsidetreasures are such uncommon studs but I'd wear them everyday if I could.

4. The angular shape of these Skinny Hoops by kusu are so novel to the usual circular hoops.

5. I adore the hammered effect a lot of the jewellery pieces have and the Silver Swan Earrings by JoJoBell are textured just enough while still having a dainty and feminine feel.

6. Something I had to purchase before anyone else did were these Sterling Silver Rosebud Drops by hotpins. A little self-indulgence, but who could resist such dainty works of art?

I'm beautiful...

2009-01-13T14:13:00.005+02:00

So the actual realisation that 2009 is here, has finally kicked in. With work being scheduled for the months ahead, I'm strangely excited. But this post is about another sort of excitement completely. My newly found fondness of make-up and beauty products.

Now I've always been a jeans and t-shirt girl, plain and simple. Washing my face with any kind of soap would be what I understood as a facial cleanse and the closest thing to what I considered make-up was eye pencil... and maybe lipstick. Getting my hair blow dried would be a treat.

Well, this new inclination all started when I was invited to a ladies only, "Moulin Rouge" themed birthday party. I've only seen the movie fairly recently, but I knew the dress code was a little risqué and was expecting many a lady to doll up for the party. Anyway, stopping short of hiring an outfit, I adapted a dress/top that I had recently bought with a pair of leggings and pumps. To finish it off, I added a hat. I looked very cabaret/on broadway like and not overtly naughty but still appropriate for this occasion.

Then came the make-up... as far as my knowldge of applying it goes, I've learnt all I know from having my face done in a department store by one of those sales ladies/make-up persons. But what I remembered must have been all the right things because everyone I knew complimented me and I didn't over paint myself to look like a tramp, to put it bluntly. Most of all, I couldn't believe how much fun I was having with eye shadow and liquid liner. So much so, that I ended up buying a whole lot of stuff to fill up the make-up bag that Zeen bought me a while ago and it seems the binge is not over yet. Today, I bought a bag full of facial cleaners, exfoliators and moisturisers.

I do obviously feel prettier for it, but it's not like this was a new year's resolution for me and I planned to do any of it... it just happened. So, either I'm taking a little more pride in my appearance lately or I'm subconsciously just trying to defy this thing called age.

Of times past...

2009-01-05T11:59:00.005+02:00

So it's 2009... But I'm not going to talk about the year ahead right now, first I'm going to look back at my last few weeks with nostalgia.

Zeen celebrated his "25th"* birthday and I planned a surprise party for him, but to throw him off completely it was the week after his actual birthday. He turned out to be dramatically surprised, after much difficulty of keeping the secret from him. I'm a terrible liar and nearly blew it only hours before the bash. The whole planning was done so sneakily I actually felt bad, but it made me realise even more how close Zeen and I actually are.

I'm also 27 now, I reminisce of my times chatting on IRC and my response to the common ASL would be; 20 f CT... I just feel so totally old when I replace that one zero with a 7. It's a good thing I'm not on IRC anymore, at least I've grown up a little. Though in consolation, for my 27th birthday I had a sleepover, something I've never had before. 'Twas great fun, thanks (hubby's) cousins!

Then there's the surprise gift that I eagerly waited for from Zeen... It turned out to be a beautiful tanzanite pendant set in white gold with a matching white gold chain. I'm already attached to it! NK got me a set of the Cape Malay cookbooks, thanks love, I'll be using them constantly. Even though I didn't get my MacBook Pro... I love everything I did get.

Also, I've had braai meat almost every other day over the last few weeks, I think I want to go on a fish and chicken diet now. Sweet and sour chicken may be on the cards for supper tonight.

During my few days off work I spent a lot of my time at the beach, my glowing and tanned cheeks can account for that and Cape Town weather has been really great, minus the wind. I already miss the beach.

Then I get back to the office this morning to find my twitter account has somehow fallen victim to a phising scam. I have no idea how though.

Now for 2009 resolutions, or something like it... I'm going to take a walk during my lunch break.

*He's actually 30... but he'll be 25 forever to me ;)

Take a bow...

2008-12-31T11:55:00.003+02:00

It's the last day of 2008. I go into 2009 still celebrating my 27th birthday on earth, my third anniversary and optimistic of what life holds for me this coming year.

I don't have much else to say, other than that I pray that this new year brings peace to those in war and hope to those who have none. With my life filled with many freedoms, I am grateful.

Happy new year to all!

Now, I'm going to the beach...

I cleaned my desk...

2008-12-18T16:45:00.004+02:00

Yes, my desk is made of dark coloured wood, but it is always chaotic. Papers covering every inch of it, crumbs everywhere and sometimes I even spill my tea because I get my arm tangled in the mouse cable. I take it as a sign that I've been working very hard. If my desk is clear then I'm obviously doing nothing and when I can't find the note I scribbled as a reminder then I have tons to do.

Though, through all of my being busy today I took the time to clean it today, because tomorrow will be my last day in the office. All about going out of this year with a clean desk so that I come back to a clear beginning.

I have lots to look forward to over the next 2 weeks. My itinerary includes lots of swimming and spending as much of my time at the beach and/or in a pool because this is one scorching hot summer. Tomorrow's is Zeen's birthday and hope he likes the watch I bought him. (More importantly,) I can't wait for my birthday next Sunday because this year, the present he's giving to me is going to be a big fat surprise. I have no idea what it is, other than it's apparently expensive. I'm trying to gloat, but I've been torturing myself with trying to figure out what it might be and what's worse is, he told me where he's hidden it. Hmph! I will not give in, I will wait for my surprise.

Amongst other news: Zeen started his own blog where he accuses me of being a blogging addict, that's not true.

I also finally got myself a new phone and upgraded to a BlackBerry Curve. Really nice and its GPS function totally rocks. The qwerty keyboard is much nicer than my previous Sony Ericsson and even though I thought I would, I don't miss its touch screen.

Then there's my sister and her fiancé who has set a date for their wedding for 9 August and I'm going to be on creative call. I'll be taking her to look at fabric and colours for some ideas.

So I need to wrap up some last bits of work for now and I don't think I'll be posting often because I'm going to be on holiday... YAY!

Wishing everyone safety over the festive season, happy happy holidays and happy birthday to Zeen and me...

How funny...

2008-12-07T15:45:00.004+02:00

Late last night, Zeen and I decided to get some take-aways from Aneesa's, a very popular fast food outlet amongst Capetonian Muslims. After placing our order and minding our own business we see a familiar but more so, popular face. The comedian, Dr. Riaad Moosa himself.

We recently went to see the 3 Wise Men show which was completely funny but not entirely worth the price we paid. Though the comedians were hilarious, there was way too much focus on the band, but this isn't a review so let me get back to my story.

The owners of Aneesa's chatted to the comedian and it seemed obvious to most of the people in the outlet, who Riaad Moosa was. Now this was just my observation, so no offence to the guy himself. I'm just seeing the deeper meaning in the humour that followed.

When his order was done, he paid but as he walked out he loudly said to one of the owners that he owes the cashier R7.50. The owner responded by asking why and Riaad goofily answers, "I don't have enough money on me," and as he continued walking out, the crowd went wild.

I mean everyone laughed at his wonderful display of humour, which it was, but seriously... if he wasn't Riaad Moosa, he wouldn't have been able to get away with that stunt and that whole scene would not have been as funny as it was.

Of locksmiths and life...

2008-12-04T13:35:00.002+02:00

I've had quite a busy week. Zeen's mom was sick and we had supper and spent Monday and Tuesday evening with her. Work is filled with lots of tedious typesetting to do, I wish I could go on holiday already. As a kid I used to read dictionaries for fun and yes, I know I'm weird, but I'm sure there's nothing more boring than typesetting a dictionary. Not even the job of a lexicographer. On the up side, my Afrikaans vocabulary is getting better.

Yesterday another family member was in the CBD so we met up, bought some coffee and went to sit in the Company Gardens under some tree shade. We drank our coffee, delved in to some deep conversation and eventually made our way back to my office after detour to the bank. All seemed good until he realised he misplaced his car keys and he doesn't have a spare.

Checking the Company Gardens' lost and found facility proved useless. So the majority of my afternoon was spent searching the CBD, spanning the area within Greenmarket Square, the Company Gardens and the Standard Bank branch in Adderley Street. I have no idea why we even bothered. As South African residents, it was naively hopeful of us. Between 4 and 4:45pm, I think I called about 10 locksmiths with the majority of them NOT having a locksmith available which also proved pretty useless. The most expensive quote was for R1800 but we managed to get someone from Al Sams Lock & Key for R450. The guy was very helpful and even cut a spare key at no charge. As commendation, if you ever need a locksmith, these guys won't let you down and are reasonably priced as far as misplacing your keys go.

That was my eventful day yesterday, but I realised afterward how important family can be, even for the silliest things like losing your car keys. I deem family as one of the most significant aspects in my life. Though they can sometimes be the biggest embarrassment, they're often the wells of wisdom and advice. Your parents teach you the fundamentals of being and will always nag you on how not to do things. Friends can fade but family should always be there when you need them and you should be readily available to be of help too. My younger sister's planning to get married and the first most important thing she wants talk to me (and no one else) about is dowry and of course wedding dresses. Without family, you'd never have known to brush your teeth everyday.

Thinking of celebrations, it's Eid ul-Adha on Monday and I have no idea what to cook for lunch. I can only think as far as sweet and sour chicken for supper tonight. I think it's about time to start a shopping list.

I know...

2008-12-01T12:00:00.002+02:00

The community and society I've grown up in sees this topic as taboo and I was never adequately educated about the disease that over 33 million people worldwide, live with. Though I haven't personally interacted or come across someone with HIV/AIDS, I can hear the stereotype of my community saying that this person brought it upon him/herself.

I don't want to be seen as that stereotype and want to learn more about this disease that is so rife, yet still so foreign to me. Remember Nkosi Johnson? He was a boy born with HIV and actively spoke about it and you were forced to realise that this disease plagues without question.

I knew I had to learn more about HIV/AIDS, but how? I eventually asked myself, how many people know their HIV status or would even go for a screening without having to do it because some third party requires you to? So I realised, since I was never instructed to have a screening done, I didn't know my status. I decided that if I wanted to learn more about this pandemic, it would start by me getting myself tested.

So how did this help? I knew there were many ways one could get infected and that I wasn't doing anything that would put me at risk. Yet, on my way to the clinic I still felt nervous. The result of this test wasn't as simple as a pass or fail, a positive result would be life changing. For myself, so many aspects in my life would change. The aspirations of wanting to have children, the possibilities of being scorned by friends and family, amongst a myriad of other things. Even if it was for a brief moment, I felt how big a difference my life would be if I knew I was positive and I empathise.

To know and understand your status helps in preventing being infected if your result is negative and also letting you know that there is support, treatment and care if it is positive.

My result came back negative, but the whole process in getting my screening done was an eye opener. As someone who saw HIV and AIDS as somewhat foreign, I encourage anyone who wants to learn more about this disease to start by getting an HIV screening done. It is a valuable piece of information that makes you look at HIV and AIDS sufferers differently and could possibly change your life... I now know my status and so should everyone else.

My attempt at a birthday wish list...

2008-11-28T08:11:00.018+02:00

With exactly a month to go, I thought I'd humour myself by making a birthday wish list. Though I consider the best gifts the kind that are thoughtful and will be the last thing I'd expect to get. I.e. I like surprises. But for the heck of it, here's a list of things for the world to see and scrutinise.

Since I'm allowed to dream a little, let me include and start off with the somewhat impossible gifts first.

The MacBook Pro... this is one of those things, I'd have to save a very, very long time for but it would be absolutely awesome if someone bought it for me. It's one of those gifts where I will forever be grateful to the one making such a gesture. But here's the thing, I'll benefit from it in so many ways and one pro of this beautiful invention is, that I'd have the freedom of working outside of an office and it will be a worthwhile possession in the long run in aid of giving me the shove in the right direction to becoming my own boss. I have the dream of one day being a work-from-home-mommy. Yes, I know, wishful thinking and this is a little bit too much to ask for so I don't really expect anyone to buy it for me. I'll still accept donations though. :)

To give my husband a hint, diamond jewellery of any kind is always acceptable. It's true that to keep a healthy relationship, you should give your wife carats. The more carats, the more glittery my eyes will be.

OK, back to reality and for the more reasonable things. A few of these involve my Etsy fetish and my new found obsession of online shopping.
These 12 Stacking Rings by junedesigns are one of the sans diamond jewellery pieces I would wear in fine/sterling silver or to be a bit more extravagant, even white gold. Their simplicity is very me and I really like twirling my wedding band, so these are perfect for me to fiddle with.

For something a bit more practical, the 2009 Letterpressed & Silkscreened Calendar along with the Molded Wood Display Stand by ilee is sure to brighten up my desk. I'll remember the bearer of this gift, every single day of the year in 2009 and I definitely won't be forgetting their birthday.

Amongst other random things I'd like to get, is the Cape Malay Cookbook and More Cape Malay Cooking. Oh and not just any copy, it has to be Hardback. This is the one cookbook (I must have in hardback,) that eludes me in every book shop I go to. It holds recipes to traditional dishes that are part of my heritage, many that I don't know and am too shy and scared to ask the old folks for because sometimes they are stingy at sharing these cooking secrets.

A gym membership would be nice, but I think I'd much rather use a couple of months of yoga or tribal fusion belly dance classes to its full advantage. Even a day-spa treatment is something I always enjoy. I'm generally not a bag person, but I would like a plain and simple hand stitched brown leather bag, something that's a combination of this and this.

Finally, I don't necessarily mean to go back to jewellery, but a chain and rustic pendant with my name or initials engraved on it is something I've always wanted. Kudos if it has a small semi precious stone (or diamond) in it.

If there's something I want, I usually save up and buy it myself so I'm not really good at telling people what I'd like as a birthday gift but, I think I did a pretty good job at making this list and maybe I should stop now... yes, I think I will.

To DIY...

2008-11-26T10:53:00.000+02:00

My pregnant friend who has been hospitalised needed some help. It's reaching the end of the school year and she wanted me to assist with making up an appreciative gift for her two older kids' teachers. So since she's unable to bustle about shops and malls, my job was to find 12 napkin rings and hand make two cards.

Making cards is easy and something I like doing. The embellishments for this particular set are ready to be pasted on the cards and then that's done. The napkin rings however, required a little bit more effort. Effort involving me running around home and decor stores looking for a reasonably priced yet decent looking dining accessory. I thought I'd make my life easier by calling a few stores to save myself the hassle of searching only to end up finding something I didn't exactly have in mind. But what's even more disappointing and off-putting is, when the person on the other side of the phone has no idea what you're talking about. Then I hatched a completely different plan, to make them myself.

The Bead Merchants of Africa is in Long Street, not too far away from my office and I decided to clock out on time (for a change,) to find some help in how to go about making napkin rings. I've always liked beaded trinkets like key rings and the like but only recently discovered the wonders of beading myself and this store is a bead paradise. In twenty minutes I gathered the supplies I needed and even received a free beading board when I paid.

I had no plan of action, I even chose the beads unconsciously and this was the end result of my creative splurge...
I've only made 4 so far but for my very first try at making something like this, it's not a bad attempt methinks. Zeen and I sat calculating how much it costs to make each one and now he, the business minded one, wants me to sell them. I just like the fact that I managed to make something so pretty, all by myself.

I'd like to make your acquaintance...

2008-11-24T10:55:00.004+02:00

After a year of working in book design, I went to my first book launch. It's not like I haven't received invites to previous launches, I just never had the interest to go to one. Though, I've always been curious to find out what actually happens and last week, I had the car at my disposal and I decided to find out.

Now, this is the part where I'm supposed to tell you how interesting the book launch was but instead, I'm going to start talking about myself.

I usually steer away from crowded places, which explains my lack of interest to go to previous book launches. I'm not sure why, but when I'm surrounded by too many people, I kind of sink into my own world and sometimes go really quiet where you wouldn't even notice I was there. So it's a given that many would think I'm quite the introvert, which I'm not really or so I'd like to think.

Anyway, at the launch, while checking out the vibe, the people and what's happening in general, a tiny lady came up to me to introduce herself. She started telling me that this was her first time coming to something like this and I responded that it was my first visit to a book launch as well. I found out that she's a friend of the author's sister and I told her my involvement in the design of the book. I found our brief conversation rather stimulating and it made me realise something that I've had a tingly feeling about for a while... I like meeting new people.

The tingly feeling I had, I can now pinpoint as me craving social interaction and more so I want to converse with people I've never met before. It seems, for some reason, that I want to make new friends. I have no idea how not liking social gatherings will help me getting that right and came to the conclusion, that I am weird.

Back to the book launch... It was somewhat boring, but according to my boss, as far launches go, this one wasn't really exciting so I'm sure I'll pluck up the oomph to visit another one soon. The prospect of maybe meeting someone new sounds appealing.

Four, four, four, four...

2008-11-20T11:45:00.001+02:00

A friend emailed this to me and I thought instead of forwarding it, I'll post it here...

A) Four places that I go to over and over: Home, Next door, Masjid, Outside

B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly): E-mail? that's so 90's... I IM, Razeen, Nuraan, Zaid, Faeem

C) Four favourite smells: Zeen's natural body odour, Food, Clean hair, Lavendar or Jasmine, etc..

D) Four places I would rather be right now: Working in the outdoors, Reading a book on the beach, or at a café, Playing Jenga with Zeen at home

E) Four people I think will respond: Me, myself, and I... and whoever else reads my blog

F) Four TV shows I watch: House, Heroes, Ugly Betty, Grey's Monotony

Anyone up ot sharing their four favourites?

The differential...

2008-11-17T12:21:00.002+02:00

I think I've spent my weekend watching too many episodes of House. So be warned, this post is ridden with sarcasm.

Soon, I'll be married for three years and I've lost count with how often people, including random strangers, ask when my husband and I will have a baby. I've come to call this the 'when then?' question. Now I don't mind talking about family planning with erm... lets see family, but if my own mother-in-law hasn't had the need to ask her son and I when we're going to make her a grandma then why, oh why, do unrelated folk persist on being so nosy?

I personally don't ask newly wed couples, fresh out of honeymoon (or any couple in fact,) 'when then?' for a number of reasons that I want to share. For one reason, it's none of my business! Though, this concept is so far-fetched that the majority of people don't understand it. So, let's elaborate...

Wanting to know when a couple is planning to have a baby, is also a not so subtle way of asking how often they're having sex. So you're wanting to know the ins and outs (pun intended,) of their sex life, or not. Either way, it's none of your business.

The husband could have a low sperm count or the wife, a polycystic ovary. Put simply, the couple is having trouble conceiving and this could be a very sensitive topic to discuss with a non-relative so it is also, none of your business.

Maybe the couple doesn't want to have kids right now and are using contraception. It could be by the use of condoms, the pill, even coitus interruptus or whatever, but it's still none of your business.

Or the couple has left it up to destiny and are about as clueless as you are to when a baby will be conceived. So the only answer would be that they don't know.

But I think with all I've just blurted out, I've got the point across that regardless of what the answer to the 'when then?' question is, be smart enough to know that it's personal and will always be none of your business.

A refugee's story...

2008-11-10T21:03:00.003+02:00

One of the first things that came to my mind when I decided to participate in this effort for Refugees, was the movie Hotel Rwanda. The movie is based on the true story of Paul Rusesabagina who, during the Rwandan civil war, sheltered more than 1000 Tutsi Refugees at the hotel he managed. In 1994, while South Africa may have held its first free election after an era of apartheid, more than 1 million refugees were killed in the Rwandan Genocide.

At that time, I was 12 years old and had no way of knowing or understanding what was happening outside the country I live in. But the very sad thing is, that many people around the world, were ignorant to the brutality happening to refugees not only in Rwanda but across the globe. As someone who lives in freedom without fear of persecution and an abundance of information at hand, I'm going to share two refugee plights that I have made a conscious effort to learn and to spread their stories that I may help them to be heard.

After being beaten by the Taliban, at 16, he fled Afghanistan in search of medical attention. The Taliban had shut down the school he was at and he ran away hoping he would find some way of completing his education to build a brighter future for himself. He wanted to stay close to home and went to Iran and Turkey where he was for four years, but to no avail. In dire need of treating his injuries, he left for Europe and landed in Greece where he managed to receive the hospital care he needed. However with the difficulty of seeking asylum, after five years he was forced to give up that claim and will forever be a foreigner in Greece... This is the story of Habib.

She worked as a musician in Kyrgystan and in 2003, for political reasons, was forced to flee after being arrested for playing at the opposition's rallies. In the United Kingdom she tried to get her life together again, only to be left homeless after her asylum claim was rejected. With help, she was able to find a temporary place to live and to appeal her asylum claim. She was then granted refugee status. Although, not being able to use her musical profession to find a job, she had to give up her love and passion. After shifting her focus to learn English, she needed to gain UK experience to be able to get a paying job and so works as a volunteer as an administrative assitant... This is the story of Alice.

This is a but a glimpse of what these two people have suffered and they are but a speck amongst the 9.2 million refugees and 25 million internally displaced people. Let each of us help in letting their plight be known.

How kids imitate what they see on TV...

2008-11-02T19:25:00.004+02:00

We've been babysitting the neighbours' three kids and keeping them occupied a whole lot more lately since their pregnant mom has been hospitalised. She's a diabetic and needs bed rest until the new baby is born. This is a story of one her kids...

Anyway, all three took a drive with us yesterday and the two older ones ran into a shop with hubby. The youngest one, who is 5, stayed in the car with me. So we're having a conversation about all things random as what children are good at and suddenly from the back seat, his hand pops up beside me. He started waving a Jenga block that had a smiley face drawn on it, at me. He sweetly announces, "Look it's Plank!"

Now, I know they love Cartoon Network and spend every opportunity they get in front of the TV watching it. I too, have watched hours of it when I'm babysitting them, so I am up to date with a good share of cartoons. Most of them I cant remember but the one that's fresh in my mind is Ed, Edd and Eddy. One of the characters in it is a boy called Jimmy who wears a set of those braces with a massive piece of headgear and walks around with a plank that has a face drawn on it. Yes you guessed it, he calls it Plank.

So kids really do imitate what they see on TV, but in some instances, it's just awfully cute :)

Pondering simple abundances...

2008-10-28T23:23:00.005+02:00

I'm lying here, watching my hubby studying and I'm trying not to disturb him. So to keep myself occupied, I'm tasking myself to the random listing of 10 things that I've been graced with.

I'm grateful for...

1. My husband being as smart as he is. Without his smartness, we'd never win at 30 Seconds, to say the least.
2. I have a really nice boss, she let me have the rest of the week off.
3. Cape Town's weather hinting at summer being here.
4. Having a comfortable bed.
5. Knowing the "Aunty" friend who recently had her 50th Birthday. Her advice is priceless and she's like another mommy to me.
6. My patience and tolerance. Without it, I'd never have survived babysitting the neighbour's three kids for the last few days.
7. Being able to bake.
8. Spending Sunday afternoon alone with my parents.
9. Getting this far in the thing called, "Life".
10. Typing and publishing this post from my phone.

Encore...

2008-10-22T09:59:00.002+02:00

I'm still sitting in awe of Friday night's concert. Sami Yusuf had me close to tears with his humble and emotional performance. Starting off with Ya Mustafa from his acclaimed album, Al Mu'allim and after urging the crowd to join in to sing along with the chorus, Allahumma salli 'alal Mustafa (O Allah send your blessings on the Chosen One) he subdued by quietly, yet audibly, saying Sallala hu alayhi wasalam (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) displaying his spiritual demeanour over the entertainer.

He's entire show was superb, although many may have felt uncomfortable with the rock concert ambience, given the lighting and accompanying musicians. That said I'd like to give my opinion in favour thereof. I have, regretfully, been to an actual rock concert before and can honestly say that there is a big difference. Beside the clear absence of alcohol and sexual intermingling, at Sami Yusuf's peformance the concious awareness of the Almighty was tangibly apparent. On Friday night, with the beat of his tombak (goblet drum), I had the name of Allah reverberating in my heart and his rendition of Free reflected my feelings to some people's reactions of me wearing hijab.

Throughout the performance, I did not once forget that I am a Muslimah, with La ilaha illa Allah Muhammadu Rasulu Allah, as my theme... While in retrospect, at the rock concert I previously went to, my God conciousness was sadly, completely non-existent.

As I still consider myself a youth, Sami Yusuf's music appeals to me as it is contemporary whilst still having Islamic value and I would rather enjoy his musical artistry, voice and lyrical renditions than chasing the world's chart toppers and being in a space where I would lose my religious and spiritual identity.

His mastery of the santoor (dulcimer), left me at the edge of my seat and in wonder of how beautiful a sound could come from what seemed, simply a box. He kept the crowd energised while beating his tombak and before playing the tar, he ardently relayed what Muslim heritage that instrument held.

Sami Yusuf is a multi-talented artist that I am proud to call a Muslim brother. In a lecture I attended a while back, the Shaykh mentioned how Muslims are forgetting that in our Muslim heritage we were amidst the forerunners in mathematics, science, art, architecture and even music, among many other fields. These days, with some extreme views, we are letting our talents go to waste, so to see someone with such an inherent capability and using it to get a message across for the good, deserves a notable applause and encore.

What an eventful week...

2008-10-17T16:03:00.003+02:00

Now it's Friday and tomorrow I can sleep a little later than usual. My week has been hectically busy. Not good nor bad busy, just exceptionally busy. Here's my week gone by, in a quick outburst...

Monday; wasn't too busy. I came to work and had to adjust to an office without my boss. I actually miss her. I spent my day concentrating less on work (of the little that I DO have,) and more on my Google Reader. Monday flew by really quickly, who knew reading could make you time travel?

Tuesday; I had planned on taking my friend's three kids to visit her in hospital after lunch time. She's been admitted to bed rest until her baby is born in late December and though since work is fairly quiet, (and with my bosses permission,) I thought I'd do this little deed.

So I did some work-stuff and left the office just after 1pm, ran to Woolworths to get my friend some strawberries and drove home (we're renting a place that's in their backyard) to get the kids and an aunt to help in keeping the kids in check. After visiting their mum and dropping aunt, we drove back home and the kids decided to go berserk on the backseat, I have no idea how I managed to keep my cool and not scream at any of them. Then I helped the eldest daughter with her homework, cooked supper in under 10 minutes and went off to pick up hubby from work and we went to drop off his iPod at hospital for aforementioned friend to use.

Wednesday; morning was relatively easy going I met up with a friend at lunch who gave me two really cool deviantART t-shirts. I left the office at about 2:30PM to get gift packaging for a function of sorts happening on Saturday. Went to look for books as a birthday gift, went to park in the Waterfront to pick up hubby and while waiting for him, I started folding boxes because there were 200 to get through. The evening I went to the birthday girl who I bought the books for and stuffed my face with home made chocolate eclairs, yum!

Thursday; morning I folded the last 50 of the 200 boxes and focused on some work. My intention was to fetch the kids again, so at 1:30PM I had closed office already. I remembered I needed to get some green ribbon for those boxes and before I left the CBD I thought I'd take a quick detour. That detour led me to getting a traffic violation fine. From Adderley street, you can turn left into Darling Street but apparently you can't turn right and that cost me R500, bleh!

Got the kids, aunt and this time, their granny decided to come along too. Went off to visit their mom and afterward, took them to have KFC. We decided to spend the afternoon at the Waterfront so that we could pick up my hubby also. Off home, hubby sorted himself out for supper while I had a nap before running off again to meet an old colleague who had invited me to a meeting regarding a "unique business opportunity" that turned out to be a Network 21 thing. If anyone has any experience with that let me know.

Was up until 12AM packing gift boxes and tying green ribbons to them... turns out 40 metres of ribbon wasn't enough.

Friday; I had to attend a pre-press workshop today. So I drove to Pinelands to one of our clients and spent the morning listening to what their pre-press requirements are.

Then I had to drive back to the Waterfront to get the car to hubby to be in time for Friday congregation prayers. I told him to drop me at the place I bought the ribbon yesterday to get some more and after leaving the shop I realise I forgot my office keys in the one compartment between the two front seats. Lucky for me, my phone's battery died too so I had to get the security of the building I work in, to get me an outlet so I could charge my phone.

Anyway, so I managed to get hold of hubby and he dropped the key off on his way back to work. Now I'm sitting here hoping hubby doesn't have to work late and waiting for the time to go home to arrive so that I can get ready to go see Sami Yusuf later on.

Tomorrow I can sleep!

Etsy things that would be nice to have...

2008-10-15T16:05:00.002+02:00

1. Flower's Worry Tunic from idea2lifestyle; 2. Quote Japan Street Punk Bag (minus that it's faux leather,) from HOWEVER; 3. Elephant Print from megancreates; 4. Dish Towels with Red Poppies (to make the chore of washing up a bit prettier,) from MichelleBrusegaard; 5. Black and White Hibiscus - Plate Clock from bode22

An unusual proposal...

2008-10-14T12:25:00.004+02:00

Well before I get to the proposal I may as well start off with how we met and the build up to how it actually happened. It's not exactly super exciting and happened in a way you'd least expect that some may even find strange. But to me it was blissfully morantic and I can't get enough of telling the story of us anyway. So forgive me for being mushy, LoL.

Once upon a time... my friend Mo came to CT for a holiday back in 2005, a bunch of friends decided to take him to the theme park here and with most events that happen in big groups, many invite others to come along and you end up meeting lots of new people.

So on a bright February morning while waiting for everyone to arrive, I roamed around the parking lot to find familiar faces, greeting the friends I haven't seen in a while and being introduced to whomever I didn't know. I finally ended up where my sister's ex was sitting, (he was my friend before they started seeing each other,) we greeted and sitting next to him was this guy in a white Levi's t-shirt, I remember the label on his well defined arm and a white Uzzi peak cap; and my first thought was, "He's cute," so I went up to introduce myself. I had met Zeen.

So after exchanging names and pleasantries and I thought he was a nice guy, until we had lunch. He was speaking to a mutual friend of ours about his job at the time and the words that came out of his mouth had to do with shares and investment stuff, then I suddenly found him very boring. But the day went by and when I was looking for a partner to join me on the "Slingshot" for a second time, he was the first person I saw and he eagerly agreed, poor boy. He must have felt like he was going to die. I was left with a bruise on my forearm that was the shape of his hand because of how tightly he held it. He was squeamish and everyone was making fun of him the entire day, but I couldn't get myself to join in. I guess my heart melted without me knowing it.

After that day I wont lie in saying that I kind of forgot about him. A few days later he contacted me and I just intuitively knew that he liked me, but for some reason I ended up playing hard to get and being uninterested.

In the following months though, we ended up spending quite a lot of time together. So much time in fact, that when he would offer to bring me home, we'd end up sitting in his car talking until it was the next morning. We got to know each other very well and became really good friends. We were on the same wavelength regarding life, religion and what we wanted for ourselves in the future. Yet, our relationship was platonic and neither one of us ever thought of "making a move" on the other.

Until one day I realised, that I actually had feelings for him. I needed him to pick me up one night when I was somewhat pissed off at another friend and when I called him, a girl answered. She claimed to be his girlfriend and I got rather obstinate because I spent more than enough time with him to know he wasn't seeing anyone. So when he very apologetically said it was someone fooling around, my reaction surprised me and our relationship wasn't the same ever again. I started to ask myself a whole lot of questions, one of them being, do I broach the subject of the possibility of us as a couple? I avoided it, I didn't want to be the one to make the first move.

There was chemistry and often when we were alone, we'd somehow end up holding hands and then quickly letting go. Then there'd be this easy quiet where I just knew what he was thinking and I'd tactically urge him into saying something regarding us but he'd change the subject. I think we both had the same thoughts going through our heads but neither one of us wanted to be the lovesick fool. I don't know what was holding us back because our chemistry was apparent to everyone else.

And then one night, we were at a friend's place and as everyone was getting ready to leave. Our hostess looked at Zeen and I and remarked, "The two of you should just get married already." Zeen looked at me and quite despondently said, "Naa, she'll never marry me," and that's when I thought, he really thinks I'm not interested... so I thought I should let him know otherwise.

As always, he was going to drop me at home and another friend who lives in my area. So while we're driving, these thoughts are going through my head. If he drops me first then the universe is telling me to forget about it, if he drops her first then I'll be alone with him for a few minutes and will have no choice but to spill my feelings. He dropped her first and this is how the conversation went a few minutes after she got out of the car.

He and I are speaking about what a good evening we had or something or the other because I honestly can't remember that part but then I blurt out:

Me: So what makes you think I wouldn't marry you?
Zeen: Uhm, *mumble* so you would?
Me: Yes, I would.
Zeen: Oh, *mumble, mumble, mumble*
Me: *heart beating in my throat* I need to go to the dentist.
Zeen: Uhm, ok.

Then I greeted, jumped out of the car and ran inside... he smsed me a few minutes later, saying that we'll probably be having an interesting conversation the next day, ending it off with a smile.

Yes, I know it's a strange and not exactly an "ordinary" proposal... but when we spoke the next day it was unbelievably easy to confess how goofily in love we were with each other and even though we didn't exactly date, with our religious and cultural background it was acceptable that in a matter of weeks our wedding date was set.

It's almost our third anniversary and it is undeniable that we're quite the compatible and a practically perfect match. I couldn't have found a better partner and friend in a husband like Zeen.

I tagged myself...

2008-10-13T20:28:00.003+02:00

Found this over on ExMi's blog and thought it would be fun to do...

1. Who is your man? My husband :)

2. How long have you been together? On 16 December, we'll be married for 3 years!

3. How long did you date before you got married? Let's see... we met in February of 2005, realised what a perfect match we were in June and married in December of the same year. We didn't date as such.

4. How old is your man? It will be his 30th this December.

5. Who eats more? Hubby definitely does!

6. Who said “I love you” first? I think he did, but I already knew I loved him too!

7. Who is taller? Hubby is the taller one by a few centimetres.

8. Who sings better? Hubby has one of the most beautiful voices I've heard, I the tone deaf one.

9. Who is smarter? We are 30 Seconds champions... if we're on the same team.

10. Whose temper is worse? Both of us are fairly placid.

11. Who does the laundry? In no particular order; he, I and my mum (because she offers to) do the laundry.

12. Who takes out the garbage? It's not an assigned duty... if you see it's full, then just take out the garbage.

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? As much as we promised not to have specific sides, he sleeps on the right side.

14. Who pays the bills? We share them as our salaries allow.

15. Who is better with the computer? Both of us are techno-savvy... I'm the blogger, though.

16. Who mows the lawn? We don't have a lawn.

17. Who cooks dinner? Our kitchen ain't big enough for the both of us.

18. Who drives when you are together? Mostly my hubby... he gets motion sickness if a passenger, but I do drive at times on his request.

19. Who pays when you go out? Hubby mostly does.

20. Who is the most stubborn? I think he is.

21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Me.

22. Whose parents do you see most? We see both his mum and my parents equally as often.

23. Who kissed who first? It was a spontaneous, mutual affair :)

24. Who asked who out? We didn't hook up like that.

25. Who proposed? I did.

26. Who is most sensitive? I think he is

27. Who has the most friends? Hubby does.

28. Who has more siblings? We both have 1 brother and 1 sister.

29. Who wears the pants in the family? I let him wear it, LoL.

30. How did you meet? At Ratanga Junction... maybe I'll relay the story of our union someday.

I tag anyone who wants to do it... drop me a comment if you don't mind sharing.

Unlike my usual tone...

2008-10-10T08:14:00.008+02:00

I didn't start this blog to air my opinions but rather to relay the experiences of my life so I'm typing this post somewhat apprehensively. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone particular, just me getting my thoughts out of my head after reading a few articles and listening to what some have had to say. That said, I am feeling a bit perturbed by the hype or rather, the disdain expressed by a few people surrounding the upcoming Sami Yusuf concerts here in SA.

My husband and I have quite recently started listening to artists to the like of Sami Yusuf, Mesut Kurtis and Saydi Ahmed Abu Ghazallah, but have always found certain nasheed highly appealing. The permissibility of music in Islam is an ongoing debate and many hold opinions in the extreme of it being up in the ranks of major sins. I find this most disturbing and terribly condescending, because in most instances, the people who hold these opinions are not entitled, Islamically, to pass such judgments.

We had a lengthy and heated conversation last night regarding this. In essence those who hold these extreme opinions are not only passing judgment but are also saying that those who listen to music will be punished sorely in the hereafter. Last I checked, the regular man or woman on the street is not allowed to pass fatwas.

Without wanting to sound like a know-it-all, because I'm not, but both my husband and I attend madressa fairly regularly and have access to the knowledge of many highly acclaimed (and actual) 'Ulama and Scholars in our community. Relevantly, we are taught that Islam is a religion of moderation and NOT extremes. Now, I do not condone music that would be detrimental to my religion and spiritual improvement, hence violent and promiscuous music, clubs and the like are major no-nos and I have had my share of teenage rebellion while listening to the hits straight off the top of the charts so I know of the influence music may have. Since hearing Sami Yusuf and other "Nasheed artists", I am more keen to listen to one of their CDs than tuning into 5fm while I'm driving or busy at home and work. Sami Yusuf's Supplication and Salawaat or Mesut Kurtis' rendition of Qasidah Burdah leaves me feeling calm and retrospective instead of a crazed fanatic. Then there are those who still act like pop-crazed monkeys and this I find unacceptable, these people need to learn that in Islam, there is a manner of conduct for everything.

In the end, I think it's more one's approach to music and what we want to benefit from it, that is important. I firmly believe that it's each to his or her own... it's only the Almighty that can ultimately judge. If you feel it's not meant for you, so be it... but I honestly think it's uncalled for to broadly pass the ruling of it being unpermissable.

I'll end off with an article I read not too long ago that puts my views on music into perspective.

IF MUSIC BE THE FOOD OF LOVE, PLAY ON - By Shafiq Morton

HAVING been involved in Muslim radio for some time, I am often asked about the permissibility of music in Islam – and if permissible, to what degree. I am always surprised by these questions because music has been part of the Islamic ethos ever since the Prophet Muhammad (s) condoned the singing of songs, the beating of drums (and even dancing) at a wedding feast attended by his young wife, A'isha.

What is interesting here is that while the Prophet (s) may not have participated, he verbally approved of the above. It could be argued, then, that music in Islam evolved the very moment that the Prophet (s) intimated certain forms were permissible.

There are also scholars who argue that the Prophet (s) avoided instrumental music, but not because he thought that it was forbidden, but because he feared that it could affect his receiving of the Revelation. It seems to have been a matter of taste, because another prophet who also received Divine Revelation, Dawud (as), was renowned for his musicality.

Aboriginal traditions indicate that in the Americas, Africa and Europe, music originated with the human voice. Associated with ritual, it then progressed to instrumentational accompaniment. In Islam, as we will discuss later, the voice is the key – the Mercy of the 700 tongues given to the first prophet, Adam (as), by Allah Himself.

The common English word for melodic sound is "music", but it is interesting to see that "music" is derived from the Arab word "musiqa", which in turn is derived from the Greek. Linguistically, there are further links: for example, the modern guitar – a cousin of the Arabic "'ud" – takes its name from the Persian "tar".

Music is, to put it simply, the art of combining sounds with a view to beauty, form, expression and emotional pleasure. Historically, music has always found its roots in devotion, a dynamic expression of consciousness that often reflects the inner longing of humankind for divine ecstasy.

Maulana Aqtab Siddiqui, an English Sufi, states that music is simply the longing of the human heart for the sounds of Angels, for the sweetness of the Afterlife. An old story relates that the prophetIbrahim (as) bequeathed his vast herds of animals to the Angel Jibril just because he wanted to hear the singing of Heavenly Beings.

Professor Seyyed Hossain Nasr, one of the illustrious scholars of our time, writes that traditions of music in the Islamic cosmos are amongst "the richest in the world". In fact, most strains of modern music: gospel, jazz, flamenco and even urban rap and hip-hop can trace their roots back to historical Muslim societies.

The ecstatic ululation of gospel (originating from Muslim African slaves) is little different to the states found in the ritualistic Middle Eastern Hadrat. The repeated patterns of jazz are hardly dissimilar to the melodic chants of introspective Sufi tariqahs. The modern-day choruses of the Ummayad flamenco (la-ilai-la-ilai) are distinct remnants of the kalimah, which articulates: la-ilaha-illallah (there is no god except God).

Even the pomp and splendour of military marching bands, with bagpipes and rolling drums, can trace their origins back to the red-robed Janissary forces of the Ottoman Empire.

And lastly, rap and hip-hop (deriving from all of the above) represent the "secular Qasidah" of the city ghetto, a sound that older generations frequently criticise as being semantically degrading and musically discordant, without ever bothering to read into its desperate metaphor.

But if music is permissible in Islam, how does one deem it Islamic? Perhaps the finest response comes from Imam al-Ghazali, the giant polymath and Sufi of the 12th century. He wrote that music inflamed the passions. However, if music drew the person nearer to Allah it was beneficial, but if it didn't, it was detrimental. It has to be noted that Imam Ghazali was wise enough not to lay down absolutes!

Over the years I have learnt that Imam Ghazali's approach has been the most appropriate. Too often, issues of halal and haram (especially in music) have been pre-determined by pure like or dislike, rather than any juristic principle. And too often, when assailed with new sound, the most convenient Muslim response has been to cry haram – even though the music may not be alien to Islamic theology.

I can remember airing Ahmed Tijani's beautiful CD, The Names of Allah, on Voice of the Cape and being accused of playing "gospel". It was as if I had betrayed Islam. Later, Tijani visited South Africa. He gave an on-air rendition of the Fatihah from the Qur'an that could have been delivered by a Mississippi Baptist choir: "Is that gospel, now?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

To its great credit, our Muslim Judicial Council has desisted from issuing a fatwa on music. I like to think that its wise men have silently conceded to Imam Ghazali, thus leaving the door ajar that was left open by the Prophet (s) for Muslims to develop the lingua-franca of spiritually uplifting, and permissible music through ijtihad, or informed collective thought.

I agree with Seyyed Hossain Nasr who argues that as an Islamic art form, music falls under the category of Mercy and Beauty, and that Allah has written beauty upon the face of all things. The Prophet's (s) Hadith that "Allah loves Beauty" serves to reinforce this idea. The lingua-franca of music is its beauty, or as the violinist, Yehudi Menuhin, commented when he heard Iranian classical music: "This music is the ladder between the soul and God."

It is this connection to the Divine, through beauty and ecstasy, that Islamic music gains its currency. And the premier instrument is the Qur'an – an amazing compendium of metre, rhythm and rhyme – that almost "sings" its deeply profound message as it moves like a heartbeat from verse to verse. The miracle of the Qur'an is witnessed in as much the human voice, which is a Mercy from Allah, as it is in its words and message.

This is perhaps why the music of the masjid, the place of worship, is the human voice and the Qur'an; and why the market-place, the material world, expresses its awareness of Allah through the voice and instrument, its melodic timbre drowning out the jarring sounds of the dunya so that the senses can savour beautific splendour.

But what about contemporary music? Whilst music is historically devotional, it can also reflect the zeitgeist, or spirit, of a society. A good example is the Beatles' 1960's hit, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. It is a pleasant enough song, but – without criticising Lennon and McCartney – it does subconsciously reflect secular nihilism: a soul floating in a universe so stripped of sacred meaning that it can only fixate on whimsical objects.

The lyrics of a verse go: "newspaper taxis appear on the shore/waiting to take you away/climb in the back with your head in the clouds/and you're gone". But where to? I think the point is that there is no destination.

Those who pour scorn upon the musical tastes of our children four decades after Lucy in the Sky need to pause a little in their thoughts. If young peoples' music is characterised today by obscenity, anger and angst then we should be taking note. Are we not willingly co-opted role players in a greedy generation that has, in its rush for wealth, declared war on God's Creation – and in the process, poisoned His skies, polluted His oceans and sterilised His soil?

Perhaps the solution lies in a genuine return to the discipline of Islamic arts so that the subtle veils of the deepest realities of Islam can be fully lifted. Or, as Seyyed Hossain Nasr says: "Today more than ever before, the understanding of Islamic art is an indispensable key for the comprehension of Islam itself". To that, I say amen: if music be the food of love, play on.

A sense of achievement...

2008-10-08T14:45:00.007+02:00

It's about a year that I've been in my current job, working in book design. I've always found books, magazines or any publication and printed reading material very appealing. Now that I've actually had the opportunity to be part of the production of a few books, my name can be seen in imprints.

I know I may sound a bit narcissistic now, but this is a little bit of an achievement for me. Growing up, I wasn't given the opportunity to go study, let alone choose which career path I'd like, because family funds weren't available. I just had to find a job and not laze about, being a bum at home because nothing is free. Not having a choice in what I wanted to do did have it's benefits. It taught me to be hardworking and adapt to all kinds of work environments. I've also learnt a few valuable skills during that time that I would not trade for anything, but that's besides the point.

Given that I was one of the brighter sparks while at school, (not sure what happened since,) I wasn't completely satisfied with just being the average worker bee. I had dreams and ambitions; and knew that I was capable of doing something more to be able to fulfill my need for achievement. So as life and the universe would have it, I was somehow led into the career I'm in now. Not without some struggle and motivation, but I've managed to climb that proverbial ladder a little bit at a time but I'm somewhat comfortable now.

So with the good graces and blessings of the Almighty, I think I haven't done too bad. Seeing my name in an imprint is like a mini awards ceremony to me and without sounding too presumptuous, me deserves it.

Etsy finds...

2008-10-07T13:43:00.016+02:00

Everyone's doing it, so I'm starting also.

1. Blue Stripe Bird Pouch, which was also my very first etsy purchase from thewren; 2. Cherry Blossom Necklace from growLively; 3. Summer Tunic from rainbowswirlz; 4. Whimsical Sugar Jar from barbdunshee; 5. Plum Flower Earrings from FairLeia

Eid Mubarak...

2008-09-30T10:22:00.003+02:00

May Allah accept all our ibaadah made in the holy month of Ramadaan and that the day of Eid be filled with the Almighty's mercy, blessings and much joy, Inshallah.

The last third of Ramadaan...

2008-09-25T16:21:00.006+02:00

My intention was to blog in retrospection of each third of Ramadaan. It seems, that plan wasn't meant to be. The last third of this holy month has arrived and already making it's departure. Somehow this is one month in the year that seems to go by quicker than any other.

While trying to make the most of these last few days, Eid preparations are also slowly getting underway This means busy days and late nights, not forgetting work and the everyday preparation for iftaar and taraweeh. Honestly, this year hasn't been too difficult for me. In knowing that something as simple as preparing my husband's supper is an ibaadah too has actually left me craving the satisfaction that all of what Ramadaan brings.

As the end nears though, I don't think I've done enough to reap as much benefit from this month as I could have. I do however feel that the humble and little effort I have made has given me a certain fulfillment. This feeling of fulfillment is similar to an emotional high, where even though your body is hungry and tired yet you somehow have the energy to carry on for another minute, hour or day.

My body has yearned for spiritual nourishment and I haven't ignored it. This to me means, that even though I know I haven't done all I could possibly have done this month, but that I have at least tried. The feeling of inner fulfillment, lets me know my attempt hasn't been overlooked and is a blessing that can only come with this month. Farewell Ramadaan... you will be missed.

Current addictions...

2008-09-15T10:37:00.008+02:00

I was tagged by Hasina and Prixie started the tag session:)

In no particular order I’m addicted to...

1. The Apple brand... even though I'm yet to own even an iPod, I go "ooh aah" each time I see the Apple logo, I swoon whenever I'm inside an Apple store and if given half the chance, I'd hug my iMac each morning when I get to work. Someday I'd like to own my very own Mac but funds do not allow right now, so each time I'm in an Apple store and a shop assistant offers to help, I respond by saying: "For now I'm only dreaming, but one day yes, you can."

2. Papercrafts... You can't keep me away from any arts and crafts store. Whenever I go into one, I'm bound to come out with something, even if it's single sheet of pretty paper. Generally, I'm pedantic about personalising everything. So naturally, I've handmade birthday, congratulatory and Eid cards; and when it comes to gift wrapping, regular wrapping paper just wont do.

3. White chocolate mousse... I've gone crazy with a particular Woolies layered dessert, but that has milk and dark chocolate mousse as well and they aren't my favourite. So I'm already planning my dessert for Eid. It's a massive bowl filled with white chocolate mousse, a layer of chocolate ganache and topped with whipped cream. I can't wait to eat my heart out!

4. Pancake mix... This is the lifesaver of quick mixes! Great for Sunday breakfasts or whenever you have munchies.

5. My neighbours/landlords... I promise I'm not a stalker, but we spend so much of our time next door we practically qualify as family. This affection is mutual, because my hubby and I were planning a holiday around about the same time mommy-next-door is due with her fourth installment to the family's crew of crazy kids and has made it quite clear that if we do go away... we probably won't have anywhere to come home to... (OK, I'm exaggerating, but you get my point.)

Now I don't know many bloggers to harrass but since I only need to tag two, I'll TAG…

Wendren

Faeem (again, because you must just play along, please!)

(UPDATE:) I'm tagging one more person, someone new to blogging NK

And the rules are:
*Post at least five current addictions (with some details please).
*Mention the person who started this game of tag (i.e Being Brazen) and also the person who just tagged you.
*Type your post with the heading “Current addictions”.
*Tag at least two people and pass on the above rules.

The first third of Ramadaan are the days of mercy...

2008-09-10T10:13:00.003+02:00

As a child I never really understood the sadness surrounding the end of Ramadaan, but was all too eager to get on with celebrating Eid. Now as an adult, (or so I'd like to think sometimes,) I can grasp the amount of blessings that come along with this month and why it's so important to make the most of every day.

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the Prophet's (SAW) saying: That in the first third of Ramadaan are the days of mercy, in the second third are the days of forgiveness and in the last third, Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala grants the believers freedom from hell.

I honestly don't want to spend too much time blogging, but I thought I'd reflect on each third of Ramadaan as to share my experiences of this month.

Keeping with the topic of Allah's mercy being bestowed in the first third of Ramadaan, the most prevalent for me is work. Even though it is quite tiring, my husband and I decided to stay up of suhoor/sehri to get to work earlier so we can leave earlier during Ramadaan. That said, work for me has been exceptionally subdued. Most publishers have met their yearly targets so the office is not as busy and stressing about deadlines as it usually can be. I have many a quiet moment to reflect and this is a mercy of time that is very rare.

My period ended up being over a week late and during that time my husband and I mulled over the possibility of us being pregnant. I fasted anyway and when I did the HCG test it was negative. Though I was a little sad, I felt it was better this way. I don't like NOT fasting and to me the mercy was that if I was actually pregnant and fasting (for those days,) I'd have starved the fetus of vital nourishment. I "fell off the wagon" later the day I took the test. Another small mercy that many women often overlook.

Our neighbours have often been subject to my blog posts and in Ramadaan especially, their good nature shines brilliantly. Since we have a short time to prepare for iftaar after work, they often send us treats and savouries. Thankfully, I manage to prepare our meals a little in advance so our table is never empty but the neighbours we have will always make sure that we won't go hungry, so much so, that we have more than enough for two people.

My husband! In Ramadaan he is the least grumpy person I know, always joking and more than eager to help in the kitchen. The special part of our day is when I listen to (and test) him while he recites and revises for taraweeh. This little extra time we spend reading together in this month, doesn't compare to any other time of the year and even though it sounds cliché, it does indeed make our bond stronger.

I'm still excited for Eid and the celebration has become more of a spiritual culmination of the days past. One third is already gone and the closer I inch to the day of Eid, I often contemplate whether I'm doing enough in this month and can only pray to see it again next year, Inshallah.

A big bouquet of thank you...

2008-08-29T12:14:00.006+02:00

My boss's birthday is coming up soon. Now, I've never bought anything for my previous bosses before because, firstly, our relationship wasn't ever close and secondly, they just didn't deserve it.

This time around, I spend most of my working hours in direct contact with my boss. In fact, it's more like we work together than me reporting to her. An insight to her personality: when I first introduced her to a friend of mine as my boss, she politely recoiled by saying I shouldn't call her that. It will be a year in November since I started working with her and I couldn't have asked for a better boss and job.

So I really want to get her something as a token of my appreciation, even though I'm stuck for ideas on what right now. But by simply making the effort in getting and giving her a birthday gift, I feel it's me metaphorically saying thanks for many reasons. Thanks for her support, her teaching me so much in the last year, for all the days she's just let me take off, for being the great boss she is and for making me a cup of tea when she's making one for herself, amongst lots of other things. Mostly though, thanks for having the faith in me, to hire me and to work with her. It's a tremendous privilege to me.

I asked her what she'd like as a gift and her response was, "a bunch of flowers would do". My intention remains to get her something really special, but for now...

To my favourite boss ever, here's a big bouquet of thank you!

A curious incident...

2008-08-26T11:25:00.006+02:00

I'm flabbergasted, puzzled and completely confused. This morning I went about my normal routine of ironing my husband's and my clothes. Well, it all seemed normal until I was ironing my dress shirt and found a huge chunk of the material neatly cut out!

How do I know it was cut? The edges are too sharp to have been torn and when tearing material you don't usually get perfect right angled corners.

It's puzzling, because it was packed away in my cupboard and I've only ever worn it twice before. I honestly don't remember walking around in a raggedy looking outfit and I'm sure if I did, someone would've noticed and enlightened me. So now I don't know whether I bought it like that or if it's somehow been attacked by a renegade pair of scissors. Both my husband and someone else suggested that maybe kids got it handy, but then we thought that the kids we do spend most of our time with aren't THAT naughty.

I'm sad, because I was looking forward to wearing it today. I'd like to find a reasonable and logical explanation for how it's happened, but without one this is just a curiously, strange incident!

Like we belong...

2008-08-18T14:13:00.007+02:00

Where my husband and I live, there are many neighbours who happen to be family and we are, quite literally, planted in the middle of them all. So when it comes to family functions we are, more often than not, invited to join them.

So with all the get-togethers, we've been to a few weddings, birthday parties and such like celebrations. We've grown rather close and have gotten to known who's who in the family (and their extensions).

Anyway... at the wedding we recently attended, a somewhat normal conversation, but a hilarious punch line, came about. We sat at the same table as a newly wed couple. The guy, (let's call him G,) who was new to the family, was asking my husband how everyone was related. Since he's a close friend of the family, he knows them rather well. So, he carried on explaining whose brother that is, and whose aunt this is and so-and-so is this and that one's cousin, etc.

Eventually, G asked my husband how he's related to the family we're renting from. His response was too funny, "Oh, we're not related, we just live there!"

Counting my blessings...

2008-08-13T10:01:00.002+02:00

I just thought I'd start listing at least 10 things I'm grateful for at any random moment.

I'm blessed because:

1. I woke up this morning.
2. My mum did my laundry.
3. I have warm water.
4. There was Pronutro for me to have breakfast.
5. A warm cup of tea is a wonderful invention.
6. I've been granted with intelligence and intellect.
7. I'm able to work, doing things I enjoy.
8. I don't have any allergies
9. There's a heating function on the air-con in my office
10. I'm crazy monkey in-love with my husband

I love the flower girl...

2008-08-12T11:10:00.004+02:00

My husband and I recently attended a wedding and both he and I reached two realisations at this particular celebration.

But to start from the top. We rent from a family where the grandmother works as a dressmaker and she, together with her daughter and another relative, had made the bride's dress and the entire retinue's garb for this particular wedding.

In the past two months, my husband and I spent most of our evenings at their place in moral support while work was underway. If Granny wasn't working on the retinue's dresses, she'd be stitching the bride's dress, by hand, while most of it was being beaded by her daughter and her aunt. I too, though apprehensively, eventually helped by sewing over 100 buttons onto the back of the dress. But most of my share of help was weighed in the pots of tea and sweet treats I made to keep everyone going, while my hubby would be keeping the daughter's husband company for the atmosphere to stay lively.

Over this period we watched, pop-eyed at how meticulously these three ladies worked often until the clock passed midnight. We saw five flower girls, two junior-bridesmaids and four bridesmaids dresses being put together, piece by piece. Not forgetting the bride's dress, where we up until 3AM on the morning of the wedding, all holding different parts of the dress while ironing out the creases. They were so precise, from making sure the bows were perfectly in place to searching out stray strands to cut off. It is so admirable to see people being so passionate about what they do.

Needless to say we were excited to see the end results. When the time came for the bride and her retinue to get dressed, that house was chaotic. The five flower girls especially, were the cause of pandemonium. Each one of them, had a unique spunk that was an entity on it's own. They were wanting to put on their own make-up or not wanting to wear any at all. Then none of them really wanted to sit still.

My poor husband decided to tag along and help keep the kids organised when taking photos. After that experience and after seeing all the hard work, he had the realisation that it all just seemed for nothing. He sounded so traumatised after witnessing the bride's white dress go dirty, a flower girl's "toilet-accident" and with all the kids running around, dresses torn and broken.

The realisation I had is, that I now understand why my mother never let me be a flower girl in anyone's wedding. The poor little kids are forced to sit, puckered and dolled up for hours on end. As a grown up I'll go crazy, I can only imagine how tormenting it is for them. But I can't deny that seeing them look so cute, is priceless.

I want to grow old (and not bored,) with you...

2008-07-30T11:01:00.005+02:00

As a result of my social circle, I've had the opportunity to observe different couples (in their natural habitats, hehe,) and seeing how they interact with each other. The majority of these relationships are loving and respectful, but I have also witnessed the turmoil in abusive and destructive ones.

A few nights ago, someone commented on how my husband and I do almost everything together and she suggested that we could end up growing bored of each other. Given, that her marriage isn't the happiest one, I didn't take her too seriously but I did start thinking about how different each couple's relationship is.

For instance, we recently visited a family where the husband works and lives in Dubai and he came home for a week. I honestly don't think I'd be able to live apart from my husband, especially for work. I'd rather go along to find work there, even though I'm not entirely keen on moving abroad. This family however, seemed to function well enough without having their dad around. Then there are other families where I see order appear only once the so called "man of the house," makes his appearance.

I probably sound rather clingy now, but I consider myself lucky to have met and married my husband. Thus far, (and hopefully for many, many more years to come,) we enjoy each other's company immensely! I consider it a blessing that we find great pleasure in sharing our merriment and doing things together. I am forever grateful for this and constantly pray that it will stay so, until we're old and have many grandchildren and even great-grandchildren, God-willing!

Monotone of everyday life...

2008-07-21T16:37:00.007+02:00

Recently, I had a conversation with someone about his indulgence in cheesecake. Even though life is becoming more expensive by the day, he believes that he should spoil himself every now and then.

This made me think about how we get lost in everyday life, pedantic about making ends meet and forgetting to focus on the little things in life. Things as simple as reading a book, having a cup of tea, enjoying a walk in the park or simply the decadence of a slice of cheesecake.

I'm steadily learning about the responsibilities of grown up life, realising that nothing comes for free. Someone has to pay the rent, there's a need to save up to be able to afford a house, the clothes we wear and the food we eat doesn't magically appear out of thin air and so on and so forth. So we work and work hard.

I remember a time where life revolved around working so hard (for a certain "toilet" company) and the only time I really saw my husband was when we woke up, drove to and from work, during meals and when we got into bed. Just a monotonous cycle that was emotionally, mentally and physically draining. Everything that was done, needed to be done and in such urgency that there was no time to grasp anything happening around you. In the end, you're left with a shell of yourself to salvage for you to experience the rest of your daily life.

I'm not sure if it's my outlook or just working circumstances but, these days I more often than not allow myself to actually stop and appreciate the little things around me, thankfully. To savour the ambience of the city I work and live in, the time spent with loved ones and the occasional indulgence of a cup of gourmet coffee.

Capturing Signal Hill...

2008-07-15T10:35:00.009+02:00

We visited Signal Hill this past Sunday, this is the kramat of Sayed Muhammad Hasan (RA) you find on the way up. It was a beautiful morning.

One hour walk...

2008-07-11T16:51:00.003+02:00

It is a Friday morning and an SMS came through when I just started working. A funky clothing boutique was having a sale. I needed a pair of jeans and since my recently paid salary was gleaming in my bank balance I thought, why not?

Eagerly awaiting for afternoon to arrive, I hear the noon gun sound. I gather my keys, cell phone and wallet, making my way out of the office. I walk through the bustle of the city I work in. I carry on for a few more minutes, seeing old buildings that loom and majestically decorate the busy road I'm about to cross. I walk past a tiny cafe called Bread, Milk and Honey, it sounds hearty and looks cosy that I think I'd like to go there sometime.

I turn into a one-way, tree-lined street with cars parked on either side. It all seems quiet at first, but the volume of voices increase as I near the other end. Turns out I'm passing the courts. The voices are coming from prison cells with their barred windows facing the road. Raggedy looking men and women shout back having conversations through a brick wall.

Reaching the boutique of half priced wares, I'm surprised at how empty it is. Twenty minutes pass by and I've found what I'm looking for. I fit it on and it's perfect, I already see items in my wardrobe to match. I pay and step outside to contemplate where to next. I'm not usually out and about during my lunch breaks, so on this rare occasion I decide to carry on walking. I'll go to a book shop while while glimpsing at the places I pass along the way.

I see hotels and bakeries until the parliamentary buildings are ahead of me. Making a right I head down a narrow road with many alleys on either side. I see magazine publishers, I see schools, I see the Jewish Museum and I make a right to walk around a public garden. I walk past a beautiful space of trees and I regret not carrying my camera with me to capture it. It's peaceful, quiet and serene. The dried leaves crunch under my shoes.

Finally ending up on a busy main road, I see the giant pillars of a fancy hotel. Walking along, in a semi-circle of sorts and ending up at my favourite coffee spot. I'll get something when I come back this way. A few more road crossings and up some steps, into the mall and into the shop where shelves of words call my name. I feel satisfied with my choice of book and I pop next door, just to see. Shoes and boots are on sale! I fit on a brown pair marked down tremendously, do a quick calculation in my head and impulsively, I sign my name.

I check my watch and realise, I need to dash. A quick pop in for an iced-latte and I briskly walk down a long street back to work. Passing swimming baths and internet cafés. I see many random stores, some with curios and frames I'd like to buy for my home one day. Right into a paved walk-way and I see the church steeple where I hear the bells toll every Tuesday. I walk past the cobble-stoned, stall-filled plain and duck into a building. I can't help but giggle about my spontaneous shopping spree.

Back in the office, I put my bags down and sit to get back to work. While sipping the last of my cool coffee I think about all the things I've seen during my one hour walk on this day.

Coffee adventures...

2008-07-10T09:31:00.007+02:00

I work surrounded by a hub of coffee bars, cafés and restaurants. Generally, I'm a tea drinker but when I have time to spare, I do like to savour a good cup of coffee while reading a book. So in the name of library sessions, I went in search of a coffee shop that would still be open when I finish work at 4:30pm until my husband fetches me about an hour later. Not forgetting the quality of coffee, I'm listing the places I've popped in at.

Downstairs, an elevator ride away, is Vida e Caffe. Their coffee is fairly decent and service upbeat. The vibe is not a particular cosy-sit-down-and-read one, so it's not where I'd like to sit after work. They're pretty expensive as well but great for (once in a while) morning coffee though and I always leave smiling.

A few blocks away is Café Eco. They close at 7pm and the atmosphere is comfy enough. The coffee is palatable, but not my first choice for a cup of joe.

Also scattered around, is Sundance Gourmet Coffee. A relaxed enough air for reading and real nice menu. Ferrero in coffee is always a nice treat. However the closest branch to me has some shoddy service and closes a bit too early for my liking.

My favoured choice in coffee would be at Seattle Coffee co. There are two branches within walking distance (in my opinion) from my office. They have comfy couches and/or those wing-backed and tub chairs. The ambience is just right for relaxing and reading. Sadly though, the closer branch seems to close at 5pm leaving me to buy take away coffee The farther branch, closes later but I'm generally too lazy to take the longer walk. I'm opting for more sit down time here.

But my coffee adventures continue...

The last person to leave the country, please blow out the candle...

2008-02-08T11:12:00.002+02:00

South Africa has stumbled upon an electricity crisis and since 2006, the country's been submitted to scheduled black-outs in aid of "load-shedding." Things have come to a point where our country's economy is taking a knock. Other than the electricity, there are water issues, petrol price hikes and the fixing of bread and milk costs. Let alone the crime rate, even though I've never been a victim of crime, (touch wood,) thankfully. But certain questions do arise. Do I stay in this country? Do I want to start and raise a family here?

These questions aren't only prompted because of the country's issues but also because my husband has always wanted to work in the UK. I've been apprehensive about particularly living in foreign places, being away from family and essentially, my home. Now it just seems with all that's happening here, while still being apprehensive, I am actually considering going over seas.

So I'm wondering, since this isn't as simple as moving house, what should one's motives be for wanting to move out of your home and into a new country? Are there good and bad motives? What should the essential deciding factors be?

My questions will probably list on forever, but our parents and grand-parents have lived through apartheid (and who knows what else,) in this country. Are the issues now, grounds enough to just pack up and leave?

Capturing Table Mountain...

2008-02-05T03:47:00.006+02:00

So South Africa is treading its way into darkness these days... I ended up having a two hour lunch because of the scheduled "load-shedding" our country's being submitted to. I decided to take a walk to the Museum and took this photo along the way.

Capturing Kalk Bay...

2008-01-08T01:46:00.002+02:00

Where my husband and I spend some of our time fishing...

New year's posting...

2008-01-07T05:08:00.003+02:00

It's 2008!

I'm back at work after a short holiday that included my wedding anniversary and both my husband's and my birthday. There was beach bumming, a whole lot of braai-ing and loads of sun. So it's a given that I'm feeling very lethargic, being all relaxed and still in holiday mode. I've taken my time getting back into actually working and the working I'm enjoying so much, I actually miss being at the office! But with all of this, I haven't done much blogging. That's bad! It's bad because I like writing and I haven't been making much effort to do writing of any kind lately.

Now I'm not one to make new year's resolutions and the like, but I do intend to start and do more of many things... Attempting oil painting is one of them. I'd also like to start a routine of some physically draining activity, in aid of exercising and keeping fit. Then writing and blogging is somewhere on this list too, because I reckon... I can.

Now onward with my list... to get home and cook, so that my husband and I can enjoy home cooked food more often.

Back at it...

2007-11-12T08:47:00.002+02:00

So I'm back at work! In this quick post, I'm just giving a short update.

Almost at the brink of becoming hopeless and practically at the end of the year, I land a job. A very interesting and challenging one at that. But first, my most sincerest thanks goes out to Mary for passing on my name. Otherwise, I'd never be sitting on the fifth floor of one of Cape Town's older buildings in the very well known Greenmarket Square right now.

I'm not completely settled in just yet, but thus far, I think I've already mapped out the fun, exciting aspects and the possible challenges I will face. I know that this will be a very big learning experience for me and this is one thing I've been praying for and more so, needed in my career path. Also, I can now put a face to a name I've seen in Imprints in a few books that I've read. This woman will be my new boss (that she doesn't like me calling her) and mentor. I'm looking forward to learning so much from her and exceptionally grateful for the opportunity.

This is an exciting time for me with my birthday and the new year on my doorstep; our new car and my new job. I'm positively looking forward to many more surprising blessings!

Adaptation and the cookie gun...

2007-09-24T06:01:00.003+02:00

I am so loving being at home. Yes, it has happened! I have become somewhat comfortable in my home executive suit, apron and all. There's the cooking, cleaning, picking up after my husband and laundry on sunny days. After almost two years of marriage and almost two months of being home, I've accumulated some skill points.

I think I've phased into the cooking part well because Zeen always goes for second (even third) helpings and hasn't become ill, which is a good sign, means my cooking is decent. The cleaning and picking up after Zeen is a bit tricky and I'm still getting used to it. I hardly know how to pick up after myself and that presents a problem at times. I have no issues with vacuuming and doing the dishes but I hate cleaning out the fridge. In short, the conclusion is, my cleaning skills are satisfactory. Doing laundry ain't too difficult, except the ironing and folding part and ultimately in the "picking up after" debacle. Overall, I need to gain a few more skill points here and there but I'm not doing too bad.

Adaptation is taking its course. So much so, that I practically jumped up and down filled with excitement and glee when Zeen and I went shopping two days ago. We had found a cookie gun. Whats that? It's those nifty devices that let you make all these different cookie shapes and is so much fun to use. I quietly giggled at myself because it must've looked so hilarious to the shop assistant, all I wanted was, to buy it and get home so I could tear off the packaging and play. The scene is synonymous to me getting my first box of Lego.

That's that, I'm still hoping to find a job and mostly praying to get a particular position that I'll only hear back about in October. In the meanwhile, I've asked Zeen for a raise.

The steps of enthusiasm...

2007-09-05T11:22:00.002+02:00

So I've been unemployed for just over a month. I haven't been idle about my unemployed status, I have been going for interviews but I feel the reason I haven't been hired yet is because of the first impression I leave. That's where the steps of enthusiasm come in. I tend to appear indifferent about certain things, where in fact I'm not. I just don't always express my enthusiasm entirely. Depending on how comfortable I am, I do it in spurts until I am excited SO MUCH then I just can't contain myself and "ENTHUSIASTIC" may as well be the name badge pinned on my jacket.

Now I obviously apply for a position I'm interested in and step one on the enthusiasm metre is automatically turned on, ie. 10%. However, with most advertisements they let out enough to make you want to apply but are discreet enough not to give too much away and make you all the more curious to want to meet. I get called for my interview and I move up to step two, 20%. I do some research on the company and I find a few things that I find very appealing and depending on how excited I am about what I find, I go up to step three or four.

The interview day arrives and I'm about 30% or 40% high on my enthusiasm metre. I love chatting, just random babbling about everything and some interviews allow for this and my enthusiasm metre will shoot up about two steps. Then I'm drilled and the metre stays as is for a little bit and only moves after I see the reactions to my answers. If the responses are good, up goes the metre and by the time I leave, my metre is up there in the 80% region and I'm psyched because I really want this job. Then my mind starts buzzing with all the things I could've said, after the fact and it's always way better than things I did say. Eventually the call or email comes that says the position has been filled by someone else. The realisation hits me that the first impression I made definitely doesn't come up to par with the enthusiastic-high person I come to be at the end of it all.

It's alive...

2007-08-15T07:20:00.003+02:00

Yes, I'm still around, alive and well. These last few weeks not working have been interesting. I've had to deal with myself being depressed, frustrated, the possible thought of being pregnant because my hormones were raging and at the moment my husband, who has a chest infection and is off sick.

Me depressed: The reality of how my ex boss humiliated me, sunk in. I went through a phase of feeling like everyone's lives are moving ahead and I'm just standing still, being a royal loser. I think, I'm over this phase now, thank goodness! One thing though, I have so much free time to notice beautiful clothing stores and funky little boutiques (that are very expensive,) but the lack of salary is just so sad.

Me frustrated: Job hunting not going all too well because all the positions I like and hope to get, I get very nice rejection letters for. I.e., I'm perfect for the job but after keeping me in suspense, they've chosen someone else and in the event of this other person not working to their expectations, they'll get back to me. Yeah, whatever. Then the interviews I go for and realise the job is not really meant for me, they want to hire me. Frustated also because, the hours in a day seem so much longer now and I feel like I'm seeing my husband even less, this was driving me crazy. For this week though, I'm occupied with dropping his cousin at school in the morning and back home in the afternoon and my sanity prevails once more.

The possible thought of being pregnant because my hormones were raging: That's self explanatory I think so I won't elaborate any further, other than the test once again had one of those disappointing negative results. I however do understand now, why so many housewives are sometimes moodier than working women.

My husband, who has a chest infection and is off sick: So we're sitting at an internet cafe, while I'm typing this post and sending away job applications; (and checking my two other email addresses and my facebook account, gosh! I'm such an extraodinaire at multitasking, anyone should hire me and they won't be disappointed, nevermind this...) Anyways, we just came from visiting the doctor and radiologist. Alhamdulillah, his chest X-ray came up clear so it's nothing serious and Inshallah, he will get better soon. However, I'm definitely not complaining about him being booked off until Monday. More Zeen for me :D

The end is here...

2007-07-30T11:43:00.002+02:00

My last two days have arrived, in fact, I'm not even sure what I'm doing here. I would actually serve a more constructive purpose if I were to stay home, like doing laundry or something because I'm just taking up space at this place I will no longer call work.

Last week, I felt like my last day couldn't come soon enough. Mr almost ex-boss has been badmouthing me to the interns, who have voiced that they don't want to and if they did, actually can't replace my job function because they're still inexperienced. I mean why do interns do internships? To learn! Now, the majority of them want to leave.

Then, I've been having all these dreams involving this company and how it's pulling me away from my religious beliefs. I know it's only a dream, but what freaked me out about this dream was, that the "authorities that be" here apparently claim to follow the same religion as I do, but were trying to break my prayers.

I'm also waiting to hear back about a position that I was interviewed for on Friday past and for some reason, I'm psyching myself up to be turned down. I have no idea why... because I'm perfect for it and the company seems decent enough, I'll be working closer to my husband and I'd really like to get it. I guess it's anxiety and me just being nervous.

Anyway, this will very likely be the last post I make from this company (that I so wish to name, but it's ok) and I just want to say, good riddance and good bye!

Ennui...

2007-07-23T08:04:00.002+02:00

That's the point I've reached with only seven working days to go. I turn this computer on with a mental blank and have this feeling of "what's the point." It's not like I don't have work, because I do, but I just don't feel excited about it. I've been doing it mechanically and am not focussing on finer details, which I'm usually a perfectionist about. In the end, it's wont be appreciated and I'm definitely not going to get any credit or thanks before I leave, so I guess I'm just not bothered.

Now I'm worried that I'm going to slip into and stay in this mental phase, if I end up being unemployed. I've been trying to line up some freelance work, but it doesn't feel like REAL work, if that even makes sense. It's more like I'm doing it for fun and getting paid in the process. After reading that sentence, I'm not sure why I'm complaining.

Anyway, I'll just leave this as one of my vent sessions... I hope my day will be bright and good news will come along, Inshallah.

Selective memory...

2007-07-20T08:43:00.002+02:00

Lots of people suffer from "what's his/her name again?" syndrome. For some reason, this morning I woke up thinking about the movie "Click" and trying to remember the actress' name who play's Adam Sandler's wife. I didn't get to it (until I could search IMDB at work of course,) and I thought about how we generally tend to remember celebrities' names easier than people we actually meet.

I personally, tend to remember faces easier than names and eventually put the right names to those faces. Then I thought, the only reason why we probably remember celebrities' names is because we literally see them everywhere!

Yes, I know, this is such a random and really boring post and it's probably common knowldge anyway. I have my days when I'm slow too, so excuse me.

I am grateful for...

2007-07-18T09:40:00.002+02:00

I've been going through a bit of difficult patch with the company I'll be leaving soon and I'm sure some people in situations like this have possibly found themselves falling into a well of self-pity. To keep from falling down in this way and probably drowning myself, I've decided to list at least ten things that I am grateful for.

In no particular order, I am grateful for...

1. Being able to speak, read, write, count and even type.
2. Being a Muslim woman.
3. Being married to my husband and the wonderful man he is.
4. The quaint, little one bedroom place that we call home.
5. Our car that needs replacing but still keeps us warm on our way to work early in the morning.
6. All my family and friends, both close and distant.
7. My health and strength.
8. The way my parents and more so my mother reared me.
9. Living in a beautiful city.
10. Potatoes.

The surprise party...

2007-07-16T09:51:00.002+02:00

Then I went to the surprise party that my high school friend's mum planned for her. We got there at 14h45 and her husband was supposed to bring her at 15h00 and what a surprise party it was.

I know I might sound rude but my friend's husband is a bit "dof", to put it mildy. Shortly after they got married and we still used to visit each other often he had this attempted secret but completely obvious manner of letting her know he wanted to leave. While we're in the middle of a conversation he'd look at her, kind of clear his throat and do this thing with his eyes. One day I just thought I'd be a bit forward and told him, if he wanted to leave he could just say so.

Anyway, for Saturday's surprise party he was supposed to get her there at 15h00 so the whole party could start. I have a weekly Saturday evening appointment that I don't ever reschedule unless I'm sick or out of town so I couldn't stay all night. My friend's mum called her first to say she was baking a cake and it was coming out of the oven soon and she needed caramel essence quickly, before the cake gets cold. 15h30 came and went and the birthday girl still didn't show. Her mum decided to call her husband, since she arranged with him to get her there at 15h00. So she calls, practically screaming in the phone; "the caramel essence!" hoping he would catch on.

Everyone sat there patiently, commenting on his dofness and when my friend's mum finally decided to make tea, it was 16h30. By that time, I was getting a bit anxious to leave, because I had to fetch my husband and we still had to drive a good distance to fetch his mum and my friend's (that tagged along with me,) husband.

Then just as I started sipping on my tea, they showed up, we all shouted "SURPRISE!" and sang the happy birthday song. I really couldn't help it, but I drank my tea so quickly inbetween everyone teashing my friend's husband. I apologised for having to leave, because I really wanted to stay and if not for my weekly appointment, I would've. Then I gave her the gift I got her, greeted everyone and drove like a maniac to get home before 17h00.

I should still call her to catch up and give her the update on things happening with me, seeing I did lost my job. But she's looking well and SMSed me to say thanks for being there. So besides her husband really delaying the surprise, we got to see each other briefly so she knows I really wanted to be there.

Common courtesy according to some...

2007-07-13T03:50:00.002+02:00

So I will be unemployed soon...

I'm just writing this post to display the calibre of people I work with, (and I can soon say "have worked with," HA!) by copying and pasting a few emails between the "authorities that be" and myself.

The first two emails is between the big boss and I after the initial meeting yesterday. I've taken out the names of people and the company for obvious reasons, but honestly, I really don't care. Here goes...

---
Hi ******

I just came out the meeting with ******, telling me my contract won’t be renewed.

I’d firstly like to express my disappointment for only being told practically half way through the month but more so because, even though I had expected this meeting regarding the end of my contract to come about sometime soon, I was hoping the result would be contrary to the outcome as it is now.

I am unsure about the reason behind the decision made. ****** had also mentioned that ******* has been lobbying for the renewal of my contract, leading me to believe that I do serve some purpose here at *********.

If possible I would like to speak about this with you so that I can get a clear understanding behind the reason for your decision.

Shukran

Regards

Hanifa

---
The response:
---

Hi Hanifa,

Thank you for your feedback, it is noted.

****** is our HR Manager who has been empowered to facilitate such things, between herself and *********/******, they should be able to make a decision regarding this with your input below taken into consideration. These are the channels put in place, my personal decision however remains firm and is not subject to change, unless your sentiments are supported by the aforementioned management structures.

I thank you for your efforts and contribution thus far.

******

---
That was that, he didn't answer my question but was very clear in letting me know that I'm not wanted here. Anyway, in the meeting yesterday I requested to be given a full month as a notice period and today the following emails were exchanged. Bear in mind that I don't want to be re-hired, I believe Allah has bigger plans for me in my career and life in general, Insha-Allah this is the kick start to it. Also, they want me out of here as soon as possible and will obviously get it done in a snide and underhanded way if need be. Without further ado...
---

Dear Hanifa

A meeting was scheduled yesterday at 15:00 Pm between ******, ******** and myself to discuss the renewal of your contract. A unanimous decision was reached and the outcome is that your contract will not be renewed due to operational requirements and that the service is no longer needed. The contract has come to term, and the company will not be renewing the contract as the operational plan for the company will not be able to accommodate your function. Your contract ends on the 31 July, we wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

Kind Regards

******

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Hi ******, thanks for re-confirming.

However, as accordance to the contract I am supposed to receive a month’s notice (we discussed this yesterday.) It’s the middle of July and I would like to receive the full month’s notice as we verbally discussed in our meeting.

Regards

Hanifa

---

Dear Hanifa

Your contract is a fixed term contract. The nature of fixed term contracts is that they will come to an end on a specified end date as per the actual contract. It is courtesy to give a verbal notice to inform the person that the contract ends on the date specified in the contract. There are no termination notice clauses which require us to give notice of a month in our contracts with regards to end dates. The termination clause is intended for when employees are dismissed or choose to terminate their contract before the contract comes to term.

I did agree to discuss this with senior management, and it was part of our discussion yesterday but approval was declined.

I have extracted paragraph 1 of your contract for your perusal:

1. Nature of Appointment

1.1 By accepting appointment, the employee acknowledges that:

a) the appointment is for a fixed-term only;

b) the employee will not hold any expectation that his/her appointment will be renewed, or that it will be renewed on the same or similar terms;

c) unless an offer to that effect has been made to the employee and accepted by him/her in writing, the employee will not have any entitlement to appointment to the employer’s permanent staff;

d) any decision to renew the appointment will not constitute a basis for expecting any further renewal in future;

Kind Regards

******

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With all due respect, I am literally at the short end of the stick in this situation. I am aware that this decision was made well in advance as I remember ***** emailing me by accident on reviewing contracts and have had no expectation for it to change, (but perhaps a better understanding to why.)

All I'd like to say is, that it would've been courteous to have let me know as soon as you could have, bearing in mind that you have admitted delaying the entire process.

I would also like to bring to your attention that when I started working at *********, I was left under the impression that I was accepting a permanent position. Two weeks after starting the job I was handed a fixed term contract until the stipulated date and had no other choice but to sign it. I'm sure you and ******** remember that ordeal. Bygones...

To conclude, because I don't want to make this email long-winded. I plainly think it would have been common courtesy and simple adaab to give me a proper month's notice as in hardly two weeks I will essentially be unemployed, not that it's of any particular concern to *********.

Regards

Hanifa

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Then one of the other "authorities that be" decided to send this email to basically shut me up, but I got what I wanted to say out there.
---

Hi Hanifa

To prevent a series of back and forth emails, I’d like to conclude this matter by stating the following.

As you are well aware, all contracts approaching termination dates are being reviewed, yours being one of them. After some careful consideration with reference to current operational plans and strategies, it has been decided that your function will no longer be required. The decision is purely an operational decision and is not related to your performance here at *********. ****** has indicated the legal parameters surrounding a fixed term contract and it is apparent that there are no discrepancies.

Kind Regards
******

---

In the end... I'm getting out of here and that can only be a good thing. In fact, I'm getting a certain satisfaction out of posting this blog from the new computer I have the luxury of using for the next two weeks, when for the last 10 months I sacrificed late nights and early mornings to a company that's letting me go, because they and I quote: "don't know what I do here and won't be needing my services anymore."

And so I move on...

Distant friends...

2007-07-12T10:20:00.002+02:00

I'm admitting to possibily being the worst friend in the world. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but I do admit that I don't keep constant contact with old friends and with some, we've grown a bit distant.

An high school friend's mum called me a few nights ago, inviting me to a surprise party for her. Now, this is probably a bad reflection on me, but her mum insisted that I MUST be there because I'm one of her daughter's few friends and I was annoyed because the same day I had made an appointment for an eye test that's long overdue. Yes, I know I'm cold and aloof and a real bad friend, but I did reschedule my appointment, bought her a birthday gift and busy making a card with matching wrapping paper.

My point of this post is, that I'm not sure how to deal with the fact of growing distant from once close friends. This surprise birthday is a good example. I actually feel guilty for not keeping in contact and upto-date on her life, but the truth is we've grown apart in many ways. Since high school has passed by, we're on completely different wavelengths and essentially don't know each other that well anymore. In fact, I kind of have this feeling that I don't have the merit to be called her friend.

This is just a thought I wanted to get out there. All this said, I'm taking another friend of mine with me and somewhat looking forward to the surprise party on Saturday. I guess the best thing I can do now is, to be a friend the only way I know how... being me.

Newsflash...

2007-07-12T01:07:00.002+02:00

If I don't find a job soon, I will be unemployed by next month.

I had a meeting with "Pseudo" HR earlier this morning and that's the decision made by the "authorities that be." Even though some colleagues have been lobbying for my contract to be renewed, the decision is and I quote: "not subject to change." Bear in mind, I wasn't even given a reason to why it won't be renewed. My boss simply doesn't like me apparently.

I'd like to say, I'm awfully disappointed (if not disgusted,) to be the last person to know about this. Let alone being told in the middle of the month when my contract is supposed to end on the 31st of July.

I just heaved a massive sigh and I'm not sure if it's a sigh of relief or because my insides feels like it's screaming and that's the way only I can express it.

Just when I started believing in this company... my hopes were shattered.

Thanks for nothing and good night!

Success is in the way you dress...

2007-07-10T03:41:00.002+02:00

As of the Monday past, a new rule has been enforced upon the staff here. From now on, the company's dress code is strictly formal and business like. That means no more denim jeans or sneakers and this presents a problem as my standard dress code contains and my wardrobe practically consists of these two items .

So Monday's come and gone and I've come to a realisation; this rule has possibily been placed to amuse a select few people's dress up fantasies. The kind of dress code you'll see in movies with characters in high seated business positions and their sexy personal assistants. The stiletto heels, flashy suits with matching ties and short skirts, the ultimate power suit. It's also actually quite hilarious to see what a difference it can do to some people's egos.

As a child, my mum always told me that confidence isn't expressed in the way you dress. Fair enough, I always thought she mostly said this to deter me from wanting expensive brand name clothing and shoes. Now thinking about it in hindsight, there was a bit more depth in what she was trying to teach me. To exude a certain presence you don't necessarily need a particular dress code.

However, in the superficial world we are today, you literally need to be dressed to kill, since success seems very connected to how you dress.

Is it a sign...

2007-07-04T01:09:00.002+02:00

There's nothing new with people leaving the company I'm at and I've been expecting the impending meeting where I will be told something to the effect of; "unfortunately you will not be rehired." Little birds have even been speaking around the office about someone that will getting the boot, proverbially. Then there is I, who forever stresses and am preparing myself to leave this place at the end of the month.

Today, I get a new PC shoved into my face. Look at the shock covering my face! I've been asking for a new PC since forever and when I imagine I'm on the verge of leaving, I get what I asked for. (I should've nagged for a raise then.)

So maybe I'll still have a job at the end of month?

Sciatica strikes again...

2007-06-29T11:32:00.002+02:00

It's officially the last working day of June and I have one month to find another job, but that's not the point of my post.

My sciatica is back. I was off work for the last two days, resting and even though it helps when I'm lying or sitting still, any movement I make, leaves me in pain. A sneeze, cough or just turning to the other side while I'm sleeping wakes me up and causes me grief. Pain meds don't help much either, all I really need to do is be still.

Don't really have much else to say, just making dua that the pain goes away otherwise, I'll have to go for x-rays and see what happens from there. Also, I've gone for two interviews on Wednesday, will have to wait and hear if anything comes of that. I'm making big prayers.

Just a note to myself as well: Never to go shopping at the Shoprite in the Golden Acre again. They have cockroaches running around as if it's a new world order.

Enough of my ranting... Jumuah Mubarak to everyone.

The industry...

2007-06-25T09:21:00.002+02:00

At this particular point in my life, I am a muslim woman trying to make a success out of my career, while still receiving a Halaal income. On this path I've come across one particular issue I'm concerned about. I know that islamically it is not lawful to sell alcohol. I work in the design industry and since being at my current job, (and the non-permanent contract I was dooped into signing, but nevermind that,) I've been put in the situation where I have to design mock-ups and graphics for concepts to be pitched to alcolohic brands.

Now if I knew that this would be part of the deal, I don't think I'd have accepted this job. It's rather disappointing because I thought my boss would understand this since he's apparently muslim as well and would've at least told me before I started. So it's been a bit tricky for me not being completely sure about whether what I'm doing is permissible or not and I have posed this question to some of my teachers and learned people but I'm yet to receive a yes or no answer. My colleagues are entirely supportive about this and tend to steer work needed to be done for alcoholic brands, away from me.

I had an interview last week that was disappointing, however at the same time, very nice. The job ad I applied to, described the company primarily focusing on packaging. Before the appointed time, one of the interviewers called me and even said I could park at their offices. I arrived at beautiful house, the courtyard had two water features at the entrance. I was promptly greeted at glass doors and directed to the boardroom. As I walked into the foyer the first thing I noticed was, wine bottles covering tables. Walking down the passage to the boardroom, wine bottles sat on shelves covering both sides of the walls. Wine bottles were poised on counters and displays as I entered the boardroom. Imagine my disappointment, I wouldn't be surprised if my face showed it too.

I was interviewed by two of the managing directors, a man and a woman. The man, the client liason/admin director, explained in detail what the position entailed. It really is a great position but for the part that 90% of their clientele are wine brands. Then the woman, the creative director started off by asking me one question. "Would you be comfortable working on wine labels?" I started off with a long-winded speech about how doubtful I am about it because I'm not entirely sure whether it's permissible or not and that to me, it's inbetween the two. Eventually, I just said that if they had included that they primarily worked on wine lables in the job ad, I would not have applied.

I apologised for how things turned out, so just picture how uncomfortable I felt sitting there, feeling like I've just wasted these people's time who are doing me a favour to interview me. Yes, that's how confident I really am! But to my surprise, the two directors fully understood and they apologised for not being a bit more open on their advertisement. They did take a look at bits of my portfolio and at the end of the interview we chatted and they wished me good luck. They really liked my CV and work; and told me that I will find something soon.

So even though I still don't have a job and the possibilty of unemployment at the end of July, still looms. I feel that the interview was fruitful anyway. I learnt that maybe, just maybe I can be succesful in my career without having to compromise my beliefs.

The abominable truth...

2007-06-22T11:39:00.002+02:00

I've always believed that credit cards are evil. Making you spend money you don't have and making you feel richer than you really are. I vowed never to get one. So guess what? A few days ago, I got my first credit card.

Yes, I know, totally contrary to never ever getting one, but my husband and I jointly decided to get the DiscoveryCard because of the cash back bonuses when you shop at certain retail outlets. If you're a Discovery Health member, you'll know all about it. So, since we spend ghastly amounts of money on things I suddenly need (I'm a typical wife) when we do our monthly shopping at Pick 'n Pay, we thought; "let's get the DiscoveryCard and deposit money into the account, pay our shopping with that and get cash back bonus at the end of each month." No harm in that, no big deal, right?

WRONG! Because the evil-ness is already oozing from this card reminding me of all the things I can buy online now. Ok, that's dramaticising it a bit because it just means I have to set my self-control mechanism a little bit higher now.

Another abominable truth right now, is my work environment. "Pseudo" HR who loves MSN and Facebook so much has just sent out an email saying if the staff doesn't stop accessing it, they will face a disciplinary hearing. So I better go.

Another weekend gone by...

2007-06-18T07:13:00.003+02:00

Yet another Monday and the start of a (very likely,) long week. I'm in such pain right now and high on painkillers that my husband decided to drug me with when we went to bed last night.

Two nights ago I started feeling lower back pain and I'm hoping it's only the cold weather causing it. I have a past case of sciatica where I couldn't walk properly for about two months and that started off with back pain so I'm praying that the pain will soon subside. I honestly doubt I'll be able to survive sciatica while working here. My previous employer was kind enough to give me all the time off I needed, provided me with transport when I did get back to work and was even concerned about whether my medical bills were paid up. Here, the "authorities that be" don't even care when you are meant to take a sick day, because they call and bother you all the time to finish work you left undone.

I'm sitting here with thick clothes under a jersey and coat with a shawl over me and a blanket rolled and up propped to support my back on this chair. I hope it helps.

Job Wanted...

2007-06-14T09:35:00.003+02:00

Just a short venting session...

My husband's been starting work at 7am, so we end up leaving home real early, before the sun's up and while it's still freezing cold. It's the worst thing ever and now, almost 2 weeks down, I'm utterly drained. All I want to do is to put my head on my desk and sleep.

The last 2 weeks also included me (sort of) training 2 interns that will be here for the next 3 months. They're doing pretty well, the only issue is the workload my boss has thrown on them. They've just recently graduated and struggling to stay afloat in the deep end they've been subjected to. Though they are coping, sometimes I have to step in to help get things done before their deadlines and that's in addition to my own work. So being here early has been aiding me in meeting my own deadlines. I'm glad I'm managing to keep my stress and anxiety levels at bay but I can feel my brain slowly taking a vacation on it's own accord and the thankless work environment I'm in isn't helping either.

I think many people know, including a few of my colleagues, that I've been looking for other employment for some time now and nothing's been forthcoming as yet. This is something I'm not particuarly worried about, but am partially concerned by. The reason: my contract at this company is ending in just over a month and I still haven't secured myself another job, leaving me a bit perturbed by the possibilty of me being unemployed by the end of July.

Chances are my contract will be renewed, but then I'll feel like I'm signing my soul off for another few months and then I'll come to work each day a bit more unhappy. The chances of my contract not being renewed is just as likely, because my boss has always held some kind of grudge toward me and I still haven't figured out why. So it's clear why I want to leave so dearly but I am hopeful and in an optimistic sphere, so Inshallah with much dua something will turn up soon.

Time to dive into work right now, so no nap for me.

TGIF...

2007-06-08T08:05:00.003+02:00

I'm so happy it's Friday. It's just been such a long and pressurised week but Alhamdulillah, I've managed to get myself through it. I've been feeling very confident at work and even though things are still unnecessarily chaotic, I'm not easily being pushed over and concerned by the constant ranting from the "authorities that be" here.

I coincidentally read this line before having the longest, toughest day of the week yesterday, "My tip for the twenty first century? Want less. Want about half of what the Joneses have. If you want less stuff, you don't need as much money then you don't need to work so hard and then you get time to have fun." -Nick, from Brighton

So last night I was thinking of two of my favourite verses:

You are searching the world for treasure
but the real treasure is yourself.
If you are tempted by bread
you will find only bread.
What you seek for
You become.

-0-

To be or not to be
is not my dilemma.
To break away from both worlds
is not bravery.
To be unaware of the wonders
that exist in me,
that
is real madness!

-Rumi

Just wanted to share a bit of wisdom that got me through my week and in retrospect, made things a bit easier for me to deal with.

Bo-Kaap History...

2007-06-05T04:16:00.002+02:00

My mum had this illustration cut out from a newspaper on her kitchen fridge. Leaves me wondering about my ancestry and family tree.

Back to work now.

The Chicken Tikka expedition...

2007-06-04T02:43:00.003+02:00

This flavoursome dish! Chicken Tikka in spicy, bite-size portions, a quarter piece leg and thigh or kebaab style with grilled green pepper and onions. I'd like to consider myself a sampler of good food and Chicken Tikka has definitely become one of my most favourite dishes. I've tried and tasted from a few restaurants and take-aways, and now I will share a few of my favourites spots I buy from.

My First Experience... was from a place called Hot Stuff. I never before tasted chicken SO full of flavour and SO strong. Even though my nose was running from the excessive intake of spicy-ness, I couldn't stop eating it and for a very long time after, couldn't stop going back. They serve tikka in differnt portions and on a variety of meats. The sauce they serve with it, is exceptionally yummy.

Place: Hot Stuff
Location: Close to Rosmead Supermarket, just off Rosmead Avenue in Kenilworth
Other Dishes: I'd recommend having their garlic naan as a side, some of their other dishes are a bit strange.
My Rating: 3/5

Frequently Visited... while living with my mother and brother-in-law, was a kiosk set up on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays at a corner shop. This guy only sells Chicken Tikka and only in quarter portions, but it's good and well worth your R17. Served with chips and a roll makes it a full meal and great at past 10PM when you have the munchies.

Place: Nadeem's
Location: Corner of 9th street and 5th Avenue in Kensington
Other Dishes: Very probably another round.
My Rating: 4/5

On the way home... on a Saturday night, my husband and I drive past another little road-side kiosk. The Tikka comes on chicken, lamb, steak, on kebaabs and they all just taste so good. Served with a generous portion of chips, or more like wedges of potatoes, your tummy will and is sure to have it's fill.

Place: Mohammed's Tikka
Location: Somewhere along Lansdowne Road in Lansdowne
Other Dishes: Try anything.
My Rating: 4/5

Stuck for choice... also on a Saturday night, is at a traffic light intersection in Belgravia. These two kiosks are set up on opposite corners at a traffic light intersection. Great smells while waiting because, these places are always busy and awesome tastes as soon as you're in your car nibbling away. Great thing for me is, I'm a leg and thigh fan, so if the one side is out the other side definitely has.

Place: I don't know their names, I've dubbed them Left and Right
Location: Intersection on Repulse and Belgravia Roads in Belgravia.
Other Dishes: Nice rolls sometimes (that comes standard) on Left; Great rotis on Right.
My Rating: 4/5

For a different kind of chicken... because I tried their tikka but it wasn't the strong flame-grilled, spicy-ness I was craving, I had their Butter Chicken instead. Very good and creamy and awesome with their naan.

Place: Passage to India
Location: Food Court in Cavendish.
Other Dishes: The Salomies are good.
My Rating: 3/5

And since we're on the topic of Butter Chicken... more recently, I tried another place's Butter Chicken for the first time. My husband and I weren't prepared to slave away infront of the stove, (more like he wasn't prepared to wait,) so we decided to get some take aways. A friend told us to try this place and we eventually made it because every other time we went there, it was always closed. Their Butter Chicken is the finger licking, clean out your plate, lick out the tub, kind of good. However, please don't go there on a Monday!

Place: Tandoori Express
Location: Brisbane Road in Wynberg.
Other Dishes: I'm going back to try everything else.
My Rating: 4/5

Feels like I just wrote a very long review. But if you like good food and especially good spicy food, try one of these places and you'll be hooked.